Read this.
“I actually attack the concept of happiness. The idea that — I don’t mind people being happy — but the idea that everything we do is part of the pursuit of happiness seems to be a really dangerous idea and has led to a contemporary disease in Western society, which is fear of sadness. It’s a really odd thing to see people saying “Write down 3 things that made you happy today before you go to sleep” and “cheer up” and “happiness is our birthright” and so on. We’re kind of teaching our kids that happiness is the default position — it’s rubbish. Wholeness is what we ought to be striving for and part of that is sadness, disappointment, frustration, failure: all of the things that make us who we are. Happiness, victory, and fulfillment are nice little things that also happen to us, but they don’t teach us much. Everyone says we grow through pain, and then as soon as they experience pain they say, “Quick! Move on! Cheer up!” I’d like just for a year to have a moratorium on the word “happiness” and to replace it with the word “wholeness.” Ask yourself, “Is this contributing to my wholeness?” and if you’re having a bad day, it is.
This is a quote by Hugh Mackay, a social researcher and novelist. I find his words necessary for anyone who may be experiencing any sort of tribulation. His perspective on happiness is something I feel needs to be shared and shared.
I agree that the human race is consistently using happiness as a birthright as Mr. Mackay mentions. And it is absolutely detrimental. When life gets hard, or bad, humans escape using alcohol, drugs or even each other to alleviate the hardship, to mask the feelings that so often permeate us. The escapes become ritual; they slowly become our only outlet to a happiness that is not always attainable. It is not a constant state. It can't be, and we should realize that is okay.
We are going to feel defeated, alone, embarrassed. We can take these moments and let them change us. It's okay to feel them, to really take them in. Let them affect you. Know that those moments are part of what makes us strong and big-hearted, comfortable and compassionate. The little pieces build us into who we are.
It isn't that happiness is uncommon or unattainable. It's just that we don't need to search for it or feel defeated without it.
We can go places, meet people, work diligently for the things we want. We can learn as much as possible. There's not much else we can do but respond to each other and our own actions. I challenge you, like Hugh Mackay, to ask yourself if your response is contributing to your wholeness.
It is.
