Being single can be a scary thing. Today, young people often feel pressured to be in a relationship simply because it can be embarrassing to not be in one. Society often makes us feel like we need to be in a relationship to be happy, and that simply is not the case. Being single may mean that we won’t have someone to cuddle with or enjoy taking out on romantic evenings, but being single allows us to focus on ourselves, which is something we all need to do at this age in order to grow as a person. There are plenty of things a single person is missing out on, but there are plenty of things a person in a relationship is missing out on too. If you are single right now, take the time to enjoy what you have instead of focusing on all of the things you wish you had in a relationship.

For one, relationships cost money. No matter who wears the pants in a relationship, dates, birthdays, anniversaries, etc. are expensive. A dinner and a movie or a few bowling dates quickly add up in price when there are two people to pay for. Between college, saving up for an apartment, car, or big trip, and suddenly paying for things by ourselves, being a young adult can be extremely expensive, especially when most of us aren’t working high paying jobs. Being single saves you money, plain and simple. And with the money you are saving, you can buy something nice for yourself… or you could actually pay your own cell phone bill for the month and make your parent’s day.

Being single will also give you a reason to spend more time with your family and friends. It can be difficult balancing time between them and a significant other, and being single gives you more time to dedicate to other people. It also will give you a new excuse to find people to go out with on weekends, get brunch with, and find a new movie buddy. At this age, most of us aren’t magically going to find “The One”, and more often than not, we are going to turn to family and friends for a shoulder to cry on after a bad breakup. These are the people that will stick with you relationship after relationship, and being single will give you more time to spend with them.

There’s also truth to the saying “single and ready to mingle.” Take it however you want, I’m not going to judge, it really helps us grow as individuals. Being single gives you the time and freedom to go meet new people. It can be just making a new friend, getting closer with someone you already know, going out on casual dates, and maybe finding a new love interest. Meeting new people and making friends is good for us, even though it may not always be fun. Maybe you’ll finally find someone who is as obsessed with True Blood as you are. Maybe you’ll meet someone who will convince you to try something new and exciting. Maybe you’ll go on a few casual dates and start to learn about what you look for in a significant other (and the types of people to stay away from). Whether it’s making a new friend or maybe starting a new relationship, you would not have the same opportunities to meet people when you’re in a relationship as you would when you are single.

And most importantly, being single allows you to love yourself. You cannot grow as a person when you are only growing with a significant other. You cannot become an individual when you are always part of a couple. Your teens and your early 20s are the years that you as a person develop most, and you cannot grow to your full potential if you never have the time to get to know yourself. Being single forces you to learn and do things on your own, and that’s often how you’ll discover some of your interests, figure out who you are, and mature. When you take some time to be single, you’ll learn how to cope on your own without having one person to go to whenever you have a problem. Being single let’s you try new things and gives you time to pursue your interests. At the end of the day, the only person you can always count on as long as you live is yourself, and being single lets you discover who you are and teaches you to love yourself primarily. You cannot be the best version of yourself if you do not know who you are. While people often do grow in relationships and there something to learn from every relationship we are in, being single allows you to figure yourself out like nothing else can. You cannot truly love someone else until you love yourself.

Being a young adult in the world means that there are many scary and unanswerable questions in our lives right now. But don’t worry about the questions that involve finding your one true love and living happily ever after. This is the time in our lives where we need to grow up and learn how to survive on our own. Don’t let the constant search for love get in your way from developing as a person. I would be willing to bet that you won’t find your true love on Tinder, and more often than not, you’re not going to find your future spouse at this age (and if you do/have, good for you!) These are the “selfish years” of our lives where we focus on our future careers and starting a life for ourselves. Don’t let that be clouded by a constant search for love, it isn’t worth it and it will hurt more than it will help.

In no way am I saying to go break up with your significant other. If you are happy in your relationship, good for you! Keep doing what you’re doing. If you are unhappy in a relationship, what are you waiting for? Join the singles club! There’re plenty of awesome single people out there and there’re plenty of things for you to gain by being single. And if you’re single, don’t fret. You’ll find your Mr./Mrs. Right someday, but for now don’t sweat it and enjoy the single life while you can.