I was another girl; another high school student; another teenager who got bullied. But like Hannah Baker, I was not only bullied through social media and verbally in person, I’ve been sexually harassed. I’ve felt time and time again what Hannah Baker faced on her own.
I helped and stood up for my best friend when a male student smacked her butt in a classroom, and treated her like a sexual object. When the guys laughed and mocked her, when she ran out of the room crying. I’ve seen firsthand what Hannah Baker felt and experienced.
The pain, the anger, that overwhelming whirlwind of emotions that twists in your stomach, as you cry your eyes dry, your nerves prickling inside your skin.
I am absolutely disgusted by the amount of victim-blaming spreading toward what Hannah went through. Every day there is another young girl, being bullied about her physical appearance, about her sexuality; being insulted by girls and guys alike; being sexually harassed; having fake rumors spread about her; every word and action counts. YOU CANNOT BLAME THE VICTIM FOR THEIR SUICIDE. You cannot simply state “in the end it was her choice... She chose to kill herself.” It is the words and actions of other people that drive a person to suicide.
What if I told you that I firmly believe “Thirteen Reasons Why” displays the most accurate modern depiction of suicide I’ve ever seen?
What if I told you a secret?
What if I told you that I was once suicidal?
Would you believe me?
Would you react the same way the people on Hannah’s tapes did? By attempting to convince others that Hannah was lying about the things she said? That she was only looking for attention?
NO ONE KNEW SHE WAS SUICIDAL.
No one knew I was suicidal.
I didn’t tell anyone at the time.
I used to think that if people were awful enough to my face and behind their screens, they could face their own demons of hatred and anger, if I actually went through with it.
What Hannah did with the tapes, it was not "fucked up.” It took courage and planning and a lot of effort to do what she did before her death. It was not a "simple" task.
Countless people who are suicidal do not make that choice lightly. They often think of all the ways they could do it. What is costly? What is effective? What will be less noticeable? What will take the shortest amount of time? (Please go read Sylvia Plath’s “The Bell Jar”).
If I told you that I never made a suicide attempt, would you believe me?
It wouldn’t change anything if I did and survived, because you would never know.
No one wanted to believe what Hannah said on the tapes, except for Clay and Tony. They understood it as her truth of reality, the version that no one saw.
It breaks my heart to think that it takes a show like this to push bullies to confront what they’ve done; to push people to actually consider the weight their actions and words hold.
There will be another young girl like Hannah Baker. Another person who commits suicide. Tonight. Tomorrow.
But you can be a decent person and be kind to people.
Stop being a bully for your own gain.
Think about how you could be one of the reasons why someone would end their life.
You can help prevent suicide.
Check out the following links:
- National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Or call 1-800-273-8255, available 24/7
- The Trevor Project (LGBTQ+)
- Lifeline Crisis Chat
