Everyone experiences bad moods for plenty of reasons and it is not fun. It’s even less fun when you know you’re in a bad mood but don’t really know why, so you don’t actually admit to it. You become agitated by nearly everything and you come off as snappy and short. You can’t help it... until now. If you’ve been in a bad mood before, and trust me I’ve been in plenty, you’ll notice that not everyone around you knows how to handle the situation except for maybe yourself. Coming from a person who has had her fair share of bad moods, these are just some of the ways that others can help me snap out of it, and hopefully these five steps are helpful to others as well.

1. Please do not bring up someone’s bad mood or accuse them of being in a bad mood.

Then another person who notices this trend keeps saying, “you seem irritated” or, “wow, you’re so cranky today”, making your mood even worse than it was before. At this point, the person’s mood spirals out of control. They know that they’re in a bad mood and get even more annoyed that someone else would rather point out the obvious than try to help them snap out of it. Don’t be that person to someone who is in a bad mood! Odds are, the person already knows he/she is in a bad mood and wants to get out of it, so please stop bringing it up. You’ll only make the person feel even worse which is the last thing you want.

2. Stop talking/asking questions.

After being told that you are in a bad mood, questions and pointless conversation ensues. Hearing from someone else that you are in a bad mood is hard enough, but getting asked “why are you in a bad mood?” does not help either. Sometimes the person doesn’t want to talk about whatever is causing their bad mood, and if they don’t know the exact cause, they obviously won’t answer the question. Truth is, that question is extremely suffocating. Let the person in the bad mood think things through for a little bit, let them figure things out on their own. Asking why will not make it go away. Also, saying random things to try to change the subject and then continuously babbling about random things will not help either; it feels insensitive. The person experiencing the bad mood will think that the person talking only cares about his/her current thoughts, problems, or situations.

3. Instead, crack a joke.

Rather than going on and on about random things or asking questions, keep it simple and quick by cracking a joke or saying something goofy and witty that the person may enjoy. If you know the person well enough, you’ll know what will make the person crack and start laughing, so give it a shot. Even if the person doesn’t laugh or respond right away, they’ll think about it and will probably laugh about it a little later. This doesn’t mean that you have to put up an entire comedy skit or have a joke book handy, but try to help the person see the humor in something that has nothing to do with their current mood and things may completely change.

4. Turn on relaxing music.

Music is always a great escape. Songs can be a powerful tool because most times the lyrics can say what the person cannot, making it feel as though he/she is not alone. This may help the person realize that there are plenty of other people who feel the same things and that it’s okay to have those feelings. The lyrics may be deep and powerful, but the music doesn’t have to be depressing; pick something upbeat and exciting that will lift spirits.

5. Let the person have some space.

This point can really be the most important. Sometimes the best option is to just walk away and let someone handle their bad mood on their own. This is sometimes the most difficult for people to do because humans are naturally caring and generally want to help out others whenever it is possible, but most times not doing anything is the best help. Leaving someone alone can let the person sit and think and regroup. This will also help reduce the level of agitation that the person my feel. “When in doubt, get out”, is what I like to say. If you can tell that someone may be in a bad mood, do not mention it to them and stop asking questions. Try cracking a joke or turning on music, but when all else fails, just leave the situation and the person alone for awhile.