While hosting what was supposed to be the best sleepover ever, a young boy is in near-critical condition following a failed attempt to make him piss himself while sleeping. Carson Orlando, age 9, was unfortunately the first one to fall asleep at this sleepover, falling victim to a promise he stated hours earlier, "first one to fall asleep is gay." Taking advantage of Carson's incapacitated gayness, Mason Matthews, age 8, hatched a plot with the other boys to dip Carson's hand in water to induce nocturnal urination. However, Mason used cold water instead of warm water for this prank, which he would know renders the prank useless if he would just pay attention in class. Carson has not peed himself yet, and his fingers are starting to become a little frosty.
"I don't know how much longer this can go on," said a concerned Caleb Bryant, age 10. "Even though Carson is gay now, I'm the oldest one here and I feel like I should stop this, or at least wake him up by snapping a rubber band against his face." Cody Heinz, who declined to reveal his age, had this to say when asked about Carson's situation: "Carson gay." Cody then continued texting his crush about seeing the emoji movie with the lights off. Perhaps the only light in this increasing darkness is Harris "Tank" Farley, age 9, has been playing Bulls-Eye Ball uninterrupted while this crisis is distracting the others. "Shame about Carson. I feel bad about it, I really do. But I think the best I can give right now is to keep playing Bulls-Eye Ball."
The boys have started to divvy up Carson's belongings in case he doesn't make it out of this one. Caleb proposed that Mason be excluded from the will because they wouldn't be having this discussion in the first place if Mason hadn't fudged up this prank so bad. Mason then retaliated by raiding the pantry and claiming all the sour cream and onion Pringles for himself. While no one was looking, Cody called dibs on the Playstation 4, and Harris broke Bulls-Eye Ball.
It is now one o'clock in the morning, and Carson remains dry of pant and gay of body. The tension in the basement rises as the temperature of Carson's right hand plummets to a dangerous low. The other boys begin to nod off, ready to sleep soundly knowing they will not be gay for falling asleep, also hoping against hope that Carson will be fine.
UPDATE: Carson awoke at eight o'clock in the morning on a Saturday, like a baby, and used his incredibly cold and numb hand to slap a sleeping Mason in the ear, but not before farting on the eye of his guest.
