O powerful deity(ies),

I sit in my office, saying this prayer as I have so many nights before. I pray for the safe-keeping of the students who reside in my hallowed hall and this I ask of you.

Dear God(s) first, let there be no facilities calls tonight. May neither toilet break, nor power surge. Let the doors be locked and the keys not get thrown down the trash shoot.

Next, please watch out for the Resident Assistants on call. Watch over them as they deal first hand with the best and worst days of our students lives. Let their food delivery come quickly and may their rounds be incident free. Protect them and let them know that I am one call away.

May the incidents that do occur, not be life or death. Please let the duty phone wake me up if this is the case though. Keep my residents healthy and safe and free from harm. Let the student who feels alone know that I am always here for support and that it is normal to feel out of place at some point in college. May the mental health issues be reported, so that they do not escalate. May the fighting be minimal and able to be broken up before injuries occur.

I pray the residents never drink to excess; for the freshmen do not yet know their limits and the upperclassmen need not test theirs. Please break the funnels and let the ping pong balls roll out of sight. I pray the windows will be free of empty bottles and there will be no trophy walls to demonstrate what happens in the rooms when I am not there.

I ask that the programs have high attendance and that this pulls away from other, less productive activities. The RAs work so hard to produce creative ideas and this behavior should be rewarded. Guide the residents to information and allow them to absorb the world around them. May the social programs not just be pizza parties and may they produce healthy communities.

Form roommate bonds with the students, Oh Lord(s), that they may not come to blows over use of the communal mac and cheese. May the roommate contract be honored and the residents remember that they are adults, you dammit. May conflicts be resolved through conversation and grant my RAs the ability to conduct these meetings without a talking stick.

I ask that deadlines be honored. But I also pray for the patience to understand that my staff is made up of students and that they are still learning how to be adults. I ask that my supervisors be flexible with me as well, that I might be running behind from a long night of duty.

Please make staff meeting short, god(s), for I cannot answer the same question five times in a two-minute period.

Let no one draw a penis on the bulletin boards, for it is the height of immaturity. Also, please let my RAs be creative and not wait until the last minute when there is no border left to put up their boards. May no one ever staple a condom to the safe-sex boards, because I don’t want that on my conscience.

Watch over my student leaders in hall council dear lord, that they may realize that their position is a privilege. May they never come to understand that they are unpaid volunteers who have no obligation to follow through on anything. May I never have to turn down a program idea because it is too “out there”

May my conduct cases not result in housing removal or large fines. May my students come to learn from the experience and take their educational sanctions seriously. Grant me wisdom to make fair judgement and to be unbiased in my hearings.

I ask, for everyone’s sake, that no parents get involved in any aspect of today. May they be provided with the knowledge that I am, in fact, competent in my job, and I am not still a child myself, and I do know all of the policies, and no, I won’t violate FERPA. May they not show up at my office and demand to speak to my supervisor. Give my supervisor the mind-reading skills to have my back and not wilt to pressure.

Dear god(s), let the sign in log work and the “Banned from Housing” status be honored. May only the people who live in my hall, and the people they invite, be within the walls of my building.

I pray that no one tries me by telling me how to run my building, but I also ask that I am humble enough to accept feedback and apply it. I ask for the ability to be the kind of supervisor that people remember for good reasons. Make me not afraid to both challenge and support.

I pray for the chance to try to make a difference for everyone. I pray for acceptance and that I will come to know that I might not make a difference for everyone. I pray that I will apply theories to practice and that I will find comfort in the fact that my job is impossible to learn from a textbook.

I ask Lord(s) that I do all I can to create a thriving, socially just community, where every student has the chance to become a better person because of their experience in my hall.

I pray for myself dear God(s), that I may find peace and be able to sleep at night, knowing I did all that I could to keep everyone safe.