Just like my father, his father before him and every other father in any movie, I am a hairy individual. It's nothing to be ashamed of because the genetic cards you're dealt isn't anyone's fault and finding a way to appreciate and accept that is a good part of living positively. However, all aspects of growing quite a bit of hair aren't entirely positive. The world happens a bit differently for you when you've got entire meadows of hair on your body, so here are insights for those unaware:
1. It's bad when it grows in an uneven/awkward way.
The great thing about some forms of hair - especially facial hair - is that it can look very attractive and very cool when done well. There are those who can utilize facial hair to get a really cool look like the rich people from The Hunger Games. However, some people don't get the luxury of thick and/or consistent hair. Sometimes it will grow in one area of the body faster than another close area and there are times where the skins is as barren as my wallet is empty.
I, personally, experience this with wings on my back. Sadly, I'm not a mutant from X-Men nor am I an angel (as I know of at the moment). My back hair simply decided it wouldn't grow in on the middle of my back. At least it left me with a clever Halloween costume.
2. We are often mistaken for mythical creatures.
Encountering people different from you can be a jarring experience. Sometimes fear is born from misunderstanding of other people. For people with a good amount of hair on their body, many times this has led to us being mistaken for Bigfoot, werewolves and other human-like, hairy creatures. This can vary in severity from jokes being made about us being a mythical beast to actually being mistaken for one. The hairy life is a magical one, this is true, but we are usually not supernatural. This only becomes a problem when Bigfoot/werewolf hunters start tracking us down. That's just awkward for everyone.
3. Getting hair caught and pulled out is unexpected misery.
Walking around in the world is tense as it is with possibilities like aliens coming to Earth and quicksand existing. These are serious problems already, but those with a lot of hair have to add another variable into this recipe for disaster stew: random hairs on their body getting snagged on something and pulled at. It sounds like no big deal usually, but the attacks are entirely random and essentially chaos. Who knew a hair could get snagged on the inside of a shirt and pulled on, possibly even pulled out? Just as I was writing this paragraph, a hair on my arm was tugged at by my computer and sobbing was the only cure to stopping the shock.
PS: In-grown hairs are exponentially more frequent with increased amounts and density of hair, making each day a game of "Oh, I didn't know that was there, fantastic."
4. Shampooing your body is essential every once and a while.
Body wash/soap is essential to acceptable body cleanliness for the general population. Hopefully this is basic knowledge. However, hair becomes a kind of second layer on top of the skin that can trap dirt, diamonds and other such materials that people come in contact with on a daily basis. To get rid of these pesky contaminants to our flawless body hair, shampooing and possibly even conditioning is the treatment our body deserves. After that, using body wash or soap can make the body legitimately clean, soft and complemented by the softest hair in the world, capable of being sculpted and styled to your wishes.
5. The seasons can be a problem.
Spring and Fall are a good medium for everything involving temperature. However, it gets complicated during the Summer. Those with an increased amount of hair have excellent, natural insulation. On the down side, it makes us warmer than others when it comes to being outside. On the up side, it gives us a reason to take off some clothes, essentially freeing ourselves from the constraints of society. That's just not as fun for others if they find our natural beauty unattractive. Sucks to be them.
Winter, however, is where we can thrive. Much like Canadians, our genetics take over during the Winter and we are well-adjusted for the weather. This makes us more positive people than others, more productive than others and it makes us excellent cuddlers. Plus, this means that we are more prepared for the impending ice age once climate change really gets us. Just stay close to us and we will cuddle the hypothermia out of you.
