If anyone has been through hell and back with their hair, it's me! I have dated my hair, got engaged to it, married it, divorced it, and even whooped its ass a few times. But that is okay because, at this moment, I can honestly say I am finally on the right path to growing the healthiest, strongest version of it.
Maybe we can start from the beginning; I have to give y'all a full story! Not really too much to say about my childhood hair. My mom did it mostly, but there were several times that I went to the salon. I always got these really cute twists with pigtails that were curly, I LOVED that hairstyle. My mom would braid it, curl it, even straighten it sometimes; I thought I was so grown! For the most part, my hair has always been really thick with a good length along with that. Sometimes, however, I noticed that it looked shorter (because it was breaking off from split ends, dryness, etc.) but I honestly brushed it off.
I was a young child, all that stuff never even crossed my mind. I then moved from little girl pigtails to just wearing my hair out, no barrettes, bows, nothing, just simply wearing it out. I was so excited, I was finally old enough to just let it flow. I loved getting fresh perms; it made it easier to comb through, easier to manage. I did not realize the damage they could do either. If I'm remembering correctly, I got my first perm at around five or six-years-old. It would sometimes burn; I dreaded it, but the results that came were addicting. For a long ass time, I didn't even know that my hair could curl up or be wavy, I just assumed my it was naturally straight.
When I was in 6th grade, I had this mentality that women should ALWAYS wear their real hair, and NEVER wear weaves, extensions, etc. My hairdresser told me that one day she was sure that I would change my mind; I assured her that I was not going to. Well... that sure didn't last long because exactly a year after I got my first weave hairstyle. It was actually a really popular hairstyle at that time, kinky twists! They were cute, it was something different. After that, I mostly wore weave, while occasionally wearing my real hair.
Fast forward to 8th grade, I hadn't worn my real hair in an entire year or gotten a perm. My friends at school and even bullies wondered what my hair looked like; they always talked about how I never showed it. Annoying bullies said I was bald. Ha! The joke was on them, little did they know, they were in for a HUGE treat. I remember it like it was yesterday, I came to school with my freshly permed, straight hair. It had grown so much within that year from all the protective styles I had been wearing. People were so shocked to see that I actually had lots of hair under all that weave. One girl even said, "I honestly thought you were bald". It was funny to me, but also ignorant. I think that way of thinking has faded, but it still exists, especially toward black women.
Throughout my entire four years of high school, I still got perms, but not nearly as often as I did in middle school. When I reached college, I often struggled with the idea of being natural; I wanted to so badly, but I was afraid of how my hair would be. I wasn't used to a thicker, curly texture. It was honestly an intimidating thought.
Finally, on May 3rd, 2016, I got my last and FINAL perm. I told myself then that I would not get one anymore, and I meant it! After that, I started my transitioning process... it was hell. I really had second thoughts; at times I really doubted that I could handle all that volume and kinky texture. I kept going through. I no longer cared about the damage the perm had done, now my main focus was heat damage. I know some people will not understand this at first, but seriously, the only way your hair will escape from heat damage is if you stop using it! Divorce your curling and flat irons, even your blow dryers. Now, of course, it is okay to use heat every now and then. But every week or every day, hell no!
On December 22, 2017, I was fed up with looking at my raggedy ass hair strands. My new growth was so curly and full of life. After watching a few YouTube videos, I got a good idea on the proper way to clip your hair. AND SO I DID JUST THAT! I felt so powerful and renewed. Any professional probably would have told me that doing it myself wasn't a good idea, and that is understandable. My hair stopped right at my ears when I cut it; it had never been that short my whole life, but I didn't care. You should ALWAYS prioritize health over length. Almost a year later, after months of moisturizing, protective styles, and long talks to myself, my hair is now past my shoulders. Length is a plus, but the fact that I am FULLY natural with NO heat damage for the first time in my life is momentous for me. I will continue taking vitamins, moisturizing, caring and loving my hair. I am determined to see it grow to its fullest potential.
