Guys, I have always known you needed a little bit of help with the ladies, but the amount of help y’all need is at an all time high. In lure of the hook up culture, guys (and some girls) have lost touch with what it means to be genuine while trying to win over someone’s heart. I am going to do my best to help you out. Looking for someone who you are intellectually and physically attracted to is hard enough as it is and I don’t want y’all to lose the girl because you don’t know how to act after the first date. There are a few things that I know most girls want in a guy, and I promise we are not asking for all of the money in your wallet or every second of your time.

Spend more time pursuing Jesus than you do pursuing me.

First things first, we want a guy after God’s heart. It is flattering that you want to spend all of your time chasing after our hearts, but there is someone who should always come before us. He should get more of your time, more of your devotion and He should get more of you. To make this easy, chasing our hearts will get you nowhere if you aren’t chasing the Heart of the King. This is important for many reasons, but if you do not know God then you do not know love and isn’t that why you’re reading this? Walk beside us with Christ. Do not hold us back from what He is trying to do in our hearts, instead encourage us.

Pay attention to the little things.

Be present. We get it, you don’t always want to listen about how upset we are about our best friend's boy drama, but understand that sometimes we just need someone to listen to us in order for us to feel better. Honestly, you should be flattered that you are that someone. The little things that we talk to you about are the little things that we want you to notice. There is nothing sweeter than a guy remembering something as simple as how I like my coffee. It shows us that you actually care about what we say. We also want a guy who can have intellectual conversations with us about religion, politics, or whatever it may be. There is nothing worse than surface level conversations just for the sake of talking. Get to know us. Actually be interested.

Do the little things and sometimes the big things.

Guys will never fully understand how far a small gesture can go in a girl’s heart. My heart skips a beat every time a guy takes the time to open my door for me and especially when they add the phrase “ladies first.” It is okay to pull out a chair for us at dinner or pump gas for us every now and then. Surprise us with our favorite flowers every once in a while or leave a love letter somewhere for us to find. Be romantic...it won’t kill you. I am not going to lie, I do not know much about fixing things, and there is nothing more attractive than a handy man. You should know how to change a flat tire and make scary noises stop. We love that stuff. We are not going to assume that you believe we are incapable of doing things on our own. We are going to assume that you are a gentleman. Here’s a hint: girls like gentlemen.

Take pride in your appearance.

I don’t care what anyone says, the dad bod is not a thing. I am not suggesting that I wouldn’t date a guy without a six pack, but it’s nice to know that a guy cares enough about his physical health to take care of himself. We are not asking you to look good so that we can show you off to our friends (that’s a bonus) but to show that you care about the temple that God has given you. If you decide to physically let yourselves go, don’t expect to get a girl that hasn’t done the same.

Be passionate about more than your car.

I will never understand why guys are so terrified to show emotions. I am not saying that you should cry once a week to show us you are in touch with your feelings, but if you are upset about something, it would be nice to know how you’re feeling. Talk to us about the things that are bothering you or the things that you are excited about. We just want to be there for you. Anger is an emotion you are going to experience, but don’t lose your temper on us. Learn how to use your words because communication is key in a healthy relationship. We hate being yelled at just as much as you do.

Understand my boundaries.

We have boundaries and we have standards for ourselves. The word "no" does in fact mean no. Please be respectful enough to understand and support our boundaries. Simple as that.

Allow me to have me time.

Please do not take this out of context. We love spending time with you, but we also need time to ourselves. Being apart from each other for a few days won’t make us forget how much we care about you. Don’t forget that we have friends and family that we want to spend time with as well. Life is all about balance.

Don’t stop trying

Okay so let’s say you got the girl. Remember we live on a day-by-day basis. Just like none of us are guaranteed a tomorrow, your relationship isn't either. I have had my fair share of bad relationships and if I have learned anything from them it’s that I do not want to waste my time. If you stop trying, I am going to leave you in the past. Just as I would expect you to do if the roles were reversed. Life is too short to be anything but happy.

I think the best piece of advice for guys is to think about having a daughter one of these days. Think about the kind of guy you would want her to be with. Be that guy. Be genuine, be hard working, be ambitious and be yourself. Best of luck!