Commitment. The key word that can scare a guy off faster than that other shoe hits the floor. Is not wanting to commit just a code word for 'I'm just not that into you?' I don't know if it's just my obvious desperation for a romantic companion or my general curiosity but why don't the majority of the male population want a relationship? It sucks to be alone, but that's just my opinion.
Can I be so bold as to assume guys don't want a relationship to avoid a potential heartbreak? Maybe, but not likely. Why is it that all guys just want a one-time hook-up? What is the difference between men and women? Why are women always seeking for Mr. Right while guys continue to parade around going through as many women as they want? And why do we let them?
I don't know what it is about us women that always want to be loved while guys couldn't care less. Is that just me? And the bigger problem is that we lose sight of showing guys our genuine self as we try to be something they actually want, is that just me too?
Being officially 20 years-old I'd like to think I've had some experience in the dating pool. Having had two somewhat serious relationships, neither of which lasted more than a year, and a couple flings, I think I've earned the right to assume the answers to a guy's fear of monogamy. It's plain and simple, if a guy doesn't want to commit: he's just not that into you.
Forget those excuses like: 'I'm not ready for a relationship,' 'I'm too busy for a relationship,' 'I just got out of a serious relationship.' All of that is straight up bull shit (excuse my language). If a guy likes you, he will find a way to see you. There's no two ways around it. I've had a guy love me, I've been strung along, I've had a guy 'really like' me, and I've had a guy use me (maybe more than on). The treatment of each one of these guys is different, unique and there's no mistaking them. Love is love-- you can feel that. When someone takes an interest in you for more than just a hook-up, you can feel that.
While my questions about the inner-workings of a male's emotional capacity may never be answered as well as my questions about women (or just myself) and their desire to be loved, one thing is clear. If he's not committing, he just doesn't like you. That may be hard to face.
In fact, after talking and hanging out with a guy for two months I finally realized he just didn't like me (I'm embarrassed that it took me two months to face that fact when I knew it a week after meeting him). A couple of weeks ago he said to me "I wish I could find a girl I really liked." Yet shockingly after hearing this, I didn't drop the kid and continued to play the role of a door-mat. However, two days ago, he asked me for advice about another girl. That instance gave me enough courage and self-esteem to drop him and empower myself with the notion that I deserve better.
Whatever guy says that they can't understand women is clearly out of their mind. Men are so much harder to understand. I guess the saying really is true: Men are from mars, women are from Venus. Completely different worlds.
