To My Guy Friends Who Became My Brothers

To My Guy Friends Who Became My Brothers

I never in a million years would think I needed more than the two brothers I already have.

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To say you have become family is nothing but the truth. You have cared for me, protected me and drove me absolutely crazy.

You guys know just how to make me laugh even when I am about to cry. The bizarre and hilarious comments you make never fail to put a smile on my face, even if I'm muttering how stupid I think you under my laugh.

You know the best and most true forms of myself and love me even on my bad days. And want to help in any way you can to pick me back up again.

You've taught me how to have thick skin because let's be real, you love to try me on a completely regular basis. And you've also taught me how to throw it right back at you even harder.

You have opened up my mind to so many ideas and perspectives on life with our pretty deep and random conversations. Maybe there is an alternative universe out there, but you still have yet to convince me of some of your other crazy theories.

Something I really cherish about you all is how much you genuinely want the best for me. When it comes to my relationship problems, you never fail to remind me that I deserve the world and nothing less than that. You are constantly trying to protect me from any hurt or heartbreak and that truly means the world to me.

Your friendship has given me so many hilarious memories, crazy moments and new experiences that I wouldn't change for the world.

I want you to know that not only do I hold you all so close to my heart, but I also want nothing but the best for you all too. I know you are capable of great things and I can't wait to watch you all achieve your goals.

No matter where life takes us, we will always be family. I will forever call you my brothers. I never in a million years would think I needed more than the two brothers I already have – but I do.

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A Letter To My Angel, Amanda

Rest Easy Angel 11.07.18

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Amanda,

Your death has been the hardest thing for me to accept because every day I knew you, you were so full of life. You were radiant. Your presence lit up every room you walked into and your infectious laugh filled it. You cared for everyone and put others before yourself. You were one of my first forever friends.

You accepted and loved me for everything I was and everything I was not. You kept me company whether we were sitting in my basement doing nothing at all or spending the day in New York City. You were constantly making me laugh and were always there for me.

I scroll through my camera roll and your Facebook all the time and there are so many random pictures of us that I can't place, that I can't explain, but they're my favorite pictures because they remind me that we have so many memories together that it's impossible to remember them all.

But every time I think of you I'm overwhelmed with seas of memories that I can remember every moment of. Do you remember when we went to your farmhouse for the weekend and spent hours melting crayons with a hair dryer to make our own board? Well, that picture ended up being my Dads background for about 6 years, I still can't tell you why.

Or the day I found out I was moving back to California and you held me while I ugly-cried and told me that we would be friends no matter how far apart we were because you knew that was my biggest fear? And then moving day when you came over and drew notes in sharpie over all of my boxes and we made a mattress slide?

I have countless memories that include you that I'll cherish forever, from playing Just Dance with you in the basement to sharing our 13th birthday party.

These past two months I've been full of anger. I've been angry at the world for taking you and angry at myself for letting life and distance get in the way. I'll probably hold a piece of that anger for the rest of my life but I'll also hold eternal appreciation and admiration for you.

I want to tell you that I appreciate that you were always there for me when I needed someone. I appreciate that you could make me laugh until I couldn't breathe even on my worst days. I appreciate that you accepted me for all my flaws and never expected perfection. I appreciate that you were always supportive and encouraging and most of all I appreciate that you were the most amazing friend.

I want you to know that I admire your strength. I admire how you were always able to find the good in everything and see the best in everyone. I admire how selfless you were, always putting others before yourself. I admired how nonjudgmental you were, you always gave the best advice. I admire how hard headed you could be, never giving up until you reached your goal but more importantly I admired you for being you.

Remembering you is so easy, it's having to miss you that's so hard. My life is better because you were a part of it and I'm far from the only one. There is an army of people that miss you every day that will carry a piece of you forever. Rest easy, angel.

I love you.

Shea.

You are forever in our hearts. 

Amanda Aujero

"Amanda was one of my only friends starting high school and was there with me through family dinners, sleepovers, breakups, SAT's, and graduation. She was a light and such a beautiful person. We laughed so hard together that we would pee our pants. I miss her like crazy and plan on visiting her and talking to her for the rest of my life. She taught me to live with no regrets." -Mary Skrzypczak

"One thing I loved about Amanda was that she had such an open-mindedness I could tell her anything with no judgements." -Avery Zulauf

"My favorite memory of Amanda is us driving down the main road in LBI and laughing our asses off. I have known Amanda for years but her last 2 1/2 years on earth, I feel as if we got the closer we had ever been and I'm internally grateful for that. I love you Amanda." -Catie Keating

"There's a billion amazing words I could use that perfectly describe Amanda, but the one that I think differentiates her from most people is "real". She was real. That girl was truly one of a kind; irreplaceable. I knew from a young age when we became friends in elementary school that I could lose all of my friends but if I only had her I would be okay. It even felt that way at times but she and I were happy having just each other. One of my favorite memories with her was when I moved to Florida to start my freshmen year in high school. We were both upset we weren't experiencing high school together and we promised that we would never stop being best friends. I was scared starting at a school in a new state and not knowing anyone, and you know what Amanda did? For the first week or so before I made friends she would FaceTime me at lunch everyday so I wouldn't eat alone. Now that's true friendship right there. When I moved back it was like I never left. I always thought of her as a sister who just happened to be my best friend too. If you learn one thing from this it's that everyone should have an Amanda in their life. And if you don't, then don't settle because if you have that relationship with someone it outweighs having hundreds of friends. Having that special relationship with someone regardless if you're both here or not will never die. It lives on and it's something that I will cherish forever." -Selena Gonzalez

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Get Rid Of Someone If They Are Toxic In Your Life

"Sometimes you just got to let go."

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I met someone only a few months ago. We tried to be good friends but to be honest, his bad qualities definitely outweighed his good ones (if he had any). I just moved to a new area and he seemed like a nice fella. After hanging with him twice, which both honestly sucked, I just tried my best to avoid him. I would be courteous and hit him up once in a blue moon to check in even though I did not want to. I did not want to speak to him at all.

I then asked myself, "why do I care to reach out to him if he does nothing for me as a friend?" He then texted me something very immature which then led me to tell the dude to please stop talking to me as I simply told him we are not meant to be friends. He laughed which then reassured that I totally made the right choice.

I felt bad at first exiting the so-called short friendship we had. But then I realized, he not only made me feel like shit but added no value to my life. As harsh as that sounds, it was the truth.

I always felt guilty ending a friendship with others, which I do not do a lot. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. I have had people, well too many people ghost me and end friendships out of the blue. It made me feel crappy and ask myself "how can someone do something so cold?" Then I realized that if a person just does not have value to you in your life, get rid of them. I guess that is what people did to me.

I now understand however that I am allowed to do that to people without feeling guilty. This guy I got rid of was a great choice of mine and I truly feel no guilt. I wish I had done this to others in the past when needed to instead of staying stuck in relationships that did not suit me.

When you are in a relationship with someone that you think is not benefiting you, it may be time to reevaluate the friendship. I am not saying drop all your friends who have made you feel bad a few times. Were all humans and make mistakes. I am saying if a friend of yours constantly adds more bad to your life than good, puts you down, makes you feel shitty, etc. That is pure toxic and is not needed.

It does not only have to be friends but boyfriends, girlfriends, family members, you name it!

It sucks ending relationships and having people end them with you. Sometimes I do believe however that certain relationships just are not meant to last and the ones that matter will truthfully stay in your life.

There is an interesting article about how and why you should remove toxic people from your life, with one of them being you can't expect people to change.

You can't always expect people to change to better your life. What you can do though is figure out if they are worth it.

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