Recently, I have come to terms with letting people very close to me go, and I have received backlash and praise for making this tough decision.
Basically, before you decide to cut someone out of your life, you need to understand that this is a big decision, and it would be very hard to undo.
You need to look at all the bad and all the good memories, and truly determine their worth in the grand scheme of things. You need to look at situations and determine whether they would have been unforgivable if this person didn't have a certain role in your life.
An example would be being left alone at a party by a random friend is unforgivable and would ruin the relationship forever. Whereas if a best friend had done it, maybe you would convince yourself that you need to forgive them because it was one mistake out of years of happiness.
You need to look at all of the good moments as well because if this person had been around for a long time, then I'm sure there are good moments as well. You need to determine if they cause you more happiness than they do pain. How many moments have you spent together that were truly carefree, relaxing, and happy?
Have those moments happened less and less? Have they completely stopped for months on end?
You shouldn't ghost anyone once you decide to let them go; that's just evil and it never provides any closure for either of you. It is best to open up and have a conversation about why you are letting them go. It's going to hurt, but you need to stay strong and get through the pain of saying goodbye.
You need to be ready to hear their side of the story, too. It may even open up some light as to why you've both been feeling differently or becoming distant.
Make sure you go into the conversation knowing that it's a conversation. Both of you deserve to be heard by the other person in order to do your own healing.
DO NOT name call each other. No one is a bitch, slut, fake person, etc. You have to keep in mind that at one point, this person was a very important part of your world and they don't deserve to be shamed.
Stay strong; you can still check on them, but you need to understand that letting them go will ultimately be the better decision for your own mental health. Yes, it is selfish to be concerned about only your mental health, but at the same time, you can't help anyone if you don't have a sane state of mind.
In letting someone go, you need to remain calm, avoid being petty or spiteful, and just let them know that you didn't make this decision in a split second. Let that person understand that you wouldn't be doing this unless you absolutely had to for your own wellbeing.
