Its that time of the year again. Your social chair puts up the, oh, so dreaded date doc. She is cheery, and excited as she posts the document for semi formal .Three weeks?! She is giving me three weeks to find a guy, and make him fall in love with me? Okay, act calm. I totally have a guy to ask. Well, I have guy friends. Okay, I have like four guy friends, but it would be awkward to ask, like, three of them -- and the other has a girlfriend. Okay, so I'm screwed.
Here is a list of every guy you have ever asked, or will eventually ask, to be your semi formal date.
1. Back home baller.
This dude is the one who you had a few minor flings with back in the day from high school. This typically ends up not working out so well, because he doesn't know anyone in your sorority so they end up tagging along with you all night, or just getting way too drunk, and you have to take care of them. Lesson learned: leave what's in the past, in the past, and don't take an old fling from high school.
2. Set up.
The classic set up. When you have four days left to find a date, and out of sheer desperation, you end up having an older sister set you up. This can go either way. In past experiences, I've been set up with some super awesome guys. But, with every good batch, comes a bad apple, and you can end up taking the psycho kid. Before agreeing to taking the rando, stalk the living daylight out of him on all social media, and then ask around to make sure he's not a crazy. My opinion: take a rando when all else fails. You literally can't lose, because if they suck, you weren't friends in the first place!
3. Current fling.
Ah, the excitement of taking someone to a function you actually like. It's like prom all over again where you get butterflies in your stomach. Everything is so much more fun, and you actually care about what you're wearing. Getting the courage to ask them is possibly the worlds scariest move, and you most likely had to throw back a few shots before you got the nerve to ask. You never know if it's too early in the game to ask them, or if this means you guys are talking, or exclusive, or whatever new term the kids are saying these days.
4. Cute guy who lives down the hall.
This one normally ends up to be a complete disaster because you have to see them everyday if it turns out badly. This is the guy who lives down your hall freshman year. You're not exactly what you would call friends... but if you saw him in the elevator you would exchange more than a "hey, how are you?" It could be super awkward, or super fun, so if they're cute, just go for it.
5. Psycho hot guy.
His name is probably Chad, Jason, Mike or Andrew. This lovely young fellow is all smiles and candy until the night of the event. Up until then, he was awesome, super cool, totally normal, super hot, and you actually started to like him. Then out of no where, he turns out to actually be psycho. Whether that's just him drunk, or just his personality outside of class and casual coffee shop dates, get out while you can. Have fun ignoring his texts and trying to avoid eye contact with him for the rest of the semester.
6. Guy BFF you can dance with, but can't hook up with.
Ugh. They are your best friend of the opposite sex, and dancing with them is kinda weird, but whatever. But there is this weird pressure that you and your date are together. You can't hook up with this guy because, woah that just makes everything super weird. He is a good date to bring and dance super dorky with, and eat all the food everyone forgets about. Score, love this guy.
All in all, no matter who you choose to accompany you, you'll still have an awesome time. Or if you're me, you end up taking your roommate and getting way too drunk together and having way more fun than everyone who brought mediocre dates.
Or, if you're a badass -- go stag, because girls run the world.
