It’s late and you’re hungry – a decision is looming, and it’s a decision that can make or break your night: Where do you want to grub?
Before making this choice, there’s a variety of factors to consider: price, location, quality of food, service, atmosphere, décor, ambience, post-consumption effects. When weighing all these factors (and more), here are some of the safest and smartest bets in Bloomington.
A viable option is always Z&C. As you walk in, feel free to examine the menu, but don’t worry too much about it – you’re getting a chicken bowl with fried rice. There appears to be about 20 items on the menu, but the assembly line at Z&C is only making one thing, and it is delicious. Can you blame their strategy? The local teriyaki restaurant, cranking out (at least) 10 chicken bowls per minute, put the multi-national Asian cuisine giant Panda Express out of business across the street. The financial statements & profit margins are something food & beverage executives would drool over – how do they do it? The quality of meat and frantic pace at Z&C has established the restaurant as one of the premier dining spots in Bloomington.
When entering Chipotle or Qdoba, tread carefully. The staff will ask you, as the tortilla is heating up, your choice of rice, beans, and meat. However, don’t stress too much about these questions yet– they will ask you again, station by station, the same three questions, verbatim.
Here is a typical ordering interaction at Chipotle:
Me: Hi, I’ll do a chicken burrito please.
Chipotle: Rice or beans?
Me: Sure, white rice, no beans
(advances to rice station)
Chipotle: White rice, right?
Me: Yep
Chipotle: Any beans?
Me: No beans
Chipotle: Cool, and the meat?
Me: Chicken
Chipotle: Ah chicken, that’s right
The goal here is the same as it is at Z&C – maximize the amount of meat for the lowest cost possible. To do this, however, you need to avoid two very dangerous words: “double meat.” There’s three things you can count on in life – death, taxes, and Chipotle giving you less meat than you wish or expected on your burrito. This will often trigger the customer to ask for “double meat” and their plan is executed to perfection. They won’t forget either – the server will immediately inform the cashier regarding the double meat. The key is to suggest or imply that you would maybe enjoy some more meat without using the words “double” or “extra.” A “come on…” or “is that it?”, accompanied with a sly grin, can often lead to more meat for the same amount of coin.
Big Cheese whips up some of the best sandwiches Bloomington has to offer – I will dock points though because it is the only restaurant that may potentially not be there. Let me elaborate - If you want Qdoba or Chipotle, it is a near guarantee that the restaurant will be there, barring any extreme, extreme circumstance. There is nothing more heartbreaking than making a Big Cheese run, eyeing down Kirkwood, and coming to the slow, devastating realization that Big Cheese didn’t show up tonight. The portable status of Big Cheese may pleasantly surprise a student if he or she were to discover Big Cheese in a random location, but more likely than not, the mobility of Big Cheese is its fatal flaw.
If you’re willing to venture a little, I would recommend Chili’s or Applebees– arguably the best atmosphere in dining. When you consider the ambience, décor, variety, and service, it’s almost a guaranteed successful visit. Don’t take my word for it though – I’ll let Marshawn Lynch do the talking.
The worst play may be multinational fast-food behemoth McDonalds. Whether you want to go in (which you probably can’t, because of the absurd closing hours) or use the drive-thru (keep at least a half hour open in your schedule), you’ll more than likely leave unhappy. Often, this Golden Arch location typically has a “cash-only” policy after 1 AM, an incredibly inconvenient move that is sure to send most college students packing. However, McDonalds does score big points based on my created PTO index. That is, potential to order. The PTO index comes in handy when you are extra, extra hungry, and it measures the cost of the cheapest food item on the menu that you can add to your original meal. If I were to order 2 McDoubles, and was still hungry afterwards, I could add another McChicken for $1 – a small amount of coin. On the contrary, if I was still hungry at Chipotle after a burrito, the least amount of money I could spend to add more food is essentially around $7 – another burrito. Thus, the dollar menu at McDonalds favors the late night dining heavy hitters who love to grub and save money – a delicious combination.
The Verdict?
For those who know me well, my recommendation may come as no surprise. When considering PTO, atmosphere, and quality of grub (the three most important factors, in no particular order), all signs point to Z&C – the DisneyLand of Teriyaki and the Sultan of Meat. Enter the legendary Kirkwood joint with a strong appetite and competitive streak – after all, there is no number system at Z&C and you’ll be lucky to get a receipt. Fork over the cash, grab a chicken bowl, and go – acting tentatively will keep you hungry for a long time.
