In my freshman year of high school, the movie adaptation of "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" was released, and soon became a cult classic as its quotes and scenes graced Instagram photos, Facebook statuses, and Tumblr photosets almost immediately.
One quote, in particular, became extremely overused: "We accept the love we think we deserve." At the time, I was an equally big fan of the film, but I grew tired of how overhyped it had become since this understated indie gem had become viral. Nevertheless, I can still claim this as one of my favorite movies.
As all coming-of-age movies intend to do, this flick resonated with my 15-year-old self on a very personal level, as I felt like a misunderstood, misplaced wallflower in all of my longing and teen angst. Fast forward four years and some of these same feelings are still present, even though I feel I have found my way a bit more. Regardless, that famous quote still speaks to me, but on a very different note as I've learned from my experiences in friendship, family, and love.
It's no big revelation to say that as you age, you gain more experiences, interact with more people, and become wiser with each fleeting interaction or life event. The speed and influence of how one changes with these happenings vary from person to person, but it is still easy to find yourself behind when the same disappointments and toxic people come your way. After this, it is easy to feel blind-sided by the shortcomings of these interactions, but it is these very disappointments that lead to a form of self-actualization, in which you finally learn to "accept the love you think you deserve" and repel the kind that you don't.
Personally, as I'm on my last leg for qualifying as a teenager and people have tried to label me as either a "young adult" or simply "adult" (I don't know which is scarier), I have realized that aging isn't what qualifies you for growing up. What people commonly credit as adolescent behavior, such as cattiness, inconsideration, immaturity, and insensitivity, is sadly reminiscent of the behavior of the average human in this day and age.
As a 19-year-old who has found herself constantly in the company of those who fit this description to a tee, it can be hard to differentiate the good from the bad when these people come your way. However, with experience often comes the ability to weed these people out and to see who has the capability to provide the genuine friendship and love that you deserve.
In my quest to dodge negative forces in my life, I have also gained the ability to realize what I deserve and what I can realistically expect from people. When setting these standards, it can be easy to underestimate your worth when it comes to choosing your company, but realizing what you deserve is the first big step when evaluating the love and consideration you receive in your life. While approaching this thought as optimistically as possible, I have learned that it's alright to set your standards high and expect the best from the people you invest time in. If this isn't the case, a clean break with these kinds of people is just what you need to improve your other relationships and the most important source of love in your life: the love you have for yourself.
Another quote, which can be commonly accredited but ultimately dates back to my youthful days of loving Disney Channel, stems from Hannah Montana, in which she simply but brilliantly claimed the fact that "nobody's perfect." As I was in the days that this song rocked my world, I am still naive and malleable in my attitude towards life and my personal process of understanding the world around me. While complete clarity in this aspect will likely never be achieved, I am confident in my ability to do my best at realizing my worth and making positive changes when it comes to other people's influences in my life.
