5 Tips To Surviving A Long Distance Relationship

5 Tips To Surviving A Long Distance Relationship

The survival manual everyone needs at some point.

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Let me start by saying: none of this is easy. I know it's painful and heart-wrenching, even, to be away from your significant other for long periods of time. However, I do regrettably have loads of experience with this. I am currently in a two-and-a-half-year-long relationship and although we see each other at college, most of our relationship has been long-distance; what with school breaks, living far away from each other, and plenty of other reasons. And I know that a lot of you out there have had the same experience; whether you're away from your significant other for different school/work choices, personal/family reasons, or anything of the like.

And I get it. It truly sucks. I'm here to tell you five major tips that have helped me survive it and hopefully can help all of you out there as well.

Tip 1: Fighting Insecurity

We all know the horror stories. The ones about getting into a long-distance relationship only to be cheated on, or break up within a month. And it's stories like these that can make us think that it's not worth it in the long run, that you should just get out of the relationship before you get your heart broken. But I'm here to tell you that it's your insecurity (and our negative society) talking.

For us ladies, in particular, it can be extremely difficult to be at peace while your partner is away. I know I think "Who is he with?!" "Why isn't he picking up the phone?!" and more 'crazy girlfriend' thoughts on a daily basis. It's way too easy to get caught up in what your significant other is doing minute-to-minute. And you actually might be justified in thinking that way. But here's a little advice: if you know you won't/can't trust your partner, save yourself the hair-pulling stress and don't do the long-distance thing. I know, seems harsh. But I promise you that stress will never go away if your partner isn't trustworthy or you're super paranoid.

So I challenge you to really think about it: Are we both in a place where we can trust each other with distance? And talk about it with your partner. The introspection on your relationship can save both of you a lot of trouble, trust me.

Tip 2: Self-Care & Discovery

No, this isn't one of those "take a bubble bath and all of your problems will be drained down the tub" things. If a bubble bath and face mask is all you need, go for it, but there's a lot more to self-discovery in my opinion.

It's a chance for you to be reminded of how AMAZING you are on your own! You're not one-half of a whole, you are a whole, super awesome person who deserves to find happiness within themselves. Personally, journaling and writing have helped me tons to get my thoughts in order. And hobbies like that can be super important to gain some introspection.

If you feel lost without your partner, use this time to find your center again. Whether it's something creative, academic, adventurous, etc. just DO it because no one is holding you back. And give it 100%. Trust me, you will be a much better version of yourself after taking time for yourself. And your partner will be happier for it!

Tip 3: Set a Time To Talk

Now, this is more than texting each other "call me at 8." I know you've heard it a thousand times, but I'll say it again: communication is KEY. If you're the type that sucks at texting or calling back, work on it. If you're the type that texts and calls 100 times a day, work on it. There's nothing wrong with being distracted or overly-enthusiastic, but if you're in a relationship, you need to find the balance.

Setting a time to talk every day/every week can really help with that. And yes, every one of you can find 30 minutes to one hour in the day to do this. There are obviously valid excuses, but communication isn't just key, communication shows you care.

It also helps to have something to look forward to in your day. The days may seem to drag on and on without your partner by your side, but getting to vent to them at the end of the day can make it a lot less dull.

Tip 4: A Little Distance Won't Kill You

Sounds insane, I know. I know the feeling of "OMG we haven't talked in two days, I feel like I hardly know him anymore" and it's really easy to get wrapped up in that. My advice is, see tip number two and breathe, baby. It's OK, and perfectly natural, to have your own lives outside of the relationship.

So don't pull your hair out just yet, you will get to talk to them again. Something that helps me is to write it all down. All the feelings, events, TV shows/movies, and jokes I want to talk about the next time we talk to each other. I call it my "Vent List" and I encourage all of you to make one of your own.

It's really easy to bombard your partner with texts and calls until they finally say "WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?" but that doesn't help anyone. Long-distance relationships will teach you a lot about patience, my friend.

Tip 5: Don't Give In To Your "Needs"

Not only is it about patience, but also self-control. When that dumb kid from high school hits you up with the "Wyd ;)" text, please, oh please, ignore it. I have yet another list to help us get through this: The "Why The Hell Am I Doing This" list. It's the one where you write everything down that made you want to stay in your relationship. From the color of their eyes to the best thing about their personality, it can be so easy to forget when you're apart for long periods of time. And then read that list every time you feel yourself straying.

It can be lonely work. Whether you're lonely in bed, or at dinner, or anything in between, I won't sugar-coat it. It's super tough to get through alone. And I know the feeling of just wanting someone there, no matter who it is. But that list is there to remind you that you got into this mess for a reason, and hopefully a good one.

As someone who is currently going through it with you, I can tell you it's possible. And so, so worth it. When you see your S.O. again, the fireworks will be there all over again. Keep your heart happy with things you can do for yourself, and always remind yourself who the f*** you are. Stay strong, friends, I believe in you.

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13 Movies Every Couple Needs To Watch Before They Get Married

Let's be honest, Rachel McAdams is in all the best love stories.

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These 13 movies are the foundation of any long-lasting relationship, and I'm not joking. Each movie will show you something new about your partner, and make you ask each other the hard questions. How many kids do you want and how are you going to raise them? What would happen if you got into a horrible accident? Some are less serious though, like what if you could time travel?

I promise that not every one of these movies is a Nicholas Sparks classic, and I also promise that not every movie has Rachel McAdams in it!

1. "The Time Traveler's Wife"

This movie is both heartbreaking and amazing.

2. "About Time"

Let's be honest, Rachel McAdams is in all the best love stories. It's on Netflix right now, so grab some snacks and turn it on!

3. "Like Crazy"

This infamous Tumblr gif came from "Like Crazy." It's about a couple who goes long distance and build their life together. I used to cry every time I watched it, and I'm no crier! It also has the (now famous) Felicity Jones in it.

4. "The Notebook"

Every girl wants this kind of love.

5. "The Last Song"

Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth are literally married now so if that isn't good luck, I don't know what is.

6. "Safe Haven"

You guessed it! This is another Nicholas Sparks classic. This movie has a dark twist as well, which men will love.

7. "Inside Out"

You may be thinking that this one is a bit weird. Well, this movie will help both you and your partner understand each other's emotions better.

8. "The Choice"

This movie is great because the female lead is feisty and extremely intelligent, which usually doesn't happen in love stories. How do you keep the love alive with a woman who is hard to get, and even harder to keep entertained?

9. "The Longest Ride"

Originally I could not stand the main female lead (Britt Robertson) but now she is in one of my favorite shows (For The People), so I have no choice. This movie had me on the end of my seat, and as a rom-com it is a must.

10. "The Age Of Adaline"

I began loving the name 'Adaline' thanks to this movie. This unlikely love story and self love journey really gets me.

11. "The Vow"

Imagine falling in love with someone and building a life, but an accident forces you to start all over?

12. "Titanic"

If they don't have any sort of reaction to this movie, they are probably not the one for you.

13. "Yours, Mine, & Ours"

Yours, Mine, & Ours is a true classic. Are you Helen or Frank Beardsley? You should figure that out before you tie the knot!

You're welcome!

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8 Things Only Your Long-Distance Best Friends Will Understand

We can always choose to be stronger than the miles in between us.

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A few days ago, I packed up my suitcase from my best friend's place in Florida after visiting for a long weekend. I always think it's going to be just a little easier leaving this time than the last, but it never is. We seem to have a better time than the last one. Our dates on the calendar come slowly, but our time together goes by way too fast. Soon I found myself holding my people close, then standing in the airport alone crying my eyes out because I already missed my best friends.

Because I have far away friends, I always have someone special to visit and a guaranteed good time. It's exciting to not only to make memories at home with them but also at their college and other places as well. People go to college, graduate school, pursue dreams, get jobs, tie the knot and eventually settle down. We can either lose our long-lasting friendships, or we can choose to fight a little harder to remain close. I choose the second; not because it's easy or convenient, but because it's worth it.

Life often takes people across the city, across the state or even across the world from us.

1. People underestimate the power of a phone call.

Miles in between you and connection problems can make talking face to face impossible, but your person is always just a phone call away. Even if you can't see their face and expressions, there is nothing quite like hearing their voice on the other end of the line. It's almost like you are right there with them when you come together to talk about what is going on in your lives. There is nothing that says two friends can't spend time together and hang out, even if it's not physically.

2. Out of sight doesn't have to mean out of mind

I am not close geographically to "my people" but they are still close to my heart. I will continue to invest in them if they are five minutes away or five-hundred miles. It makes no difference because we are more than the miles between us. My friends have boyfriends, girlfriends, parents, jobs and some even have kids. Your friend may have a boyfriend or girlfriend, parents, jobs, kids and tend to get distracted by everything around them. This is normal to let your everyday life consume your thoughts, but you can make room to let other things enter your mind too.

Have things around your place to remind you of them, set reminders to check on them and get into a habit of catching up with people while doing chores or going somewhere. There are a few people I try to text on the daily — sometimes it's me reminding them I'm thinking about them, something random I saw that made me smile or telling them good morning. Every phone call, text and attempt at putting in the effort will make you two just a little closer than you were before.

3. It's tough to not be there when you really need and want to

Time passes and the other person can begin to change. It can be difficult to find common ground after you've been away for a while and your lives are two separate worlds. It can be easy to lose touch without intentionality, hard work and commitment. Keep the lines of communication and honesty open. Show up and be fully present. You both deserve the friendship to be genuine and prioritized.

Far-away-friends give missing people a whole new meaning. It's hard when you can't be there for every birthday, graduation, break-up, celebration and bad day. But, even between the hundreds of miles, time zones and missed ice cream dates, they are still your person. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter because you would do anything for this person and to keep your friendship with them. Long distance is worth it to still call someone your best friend.


The best stuff is always difficult. It sometimes takes longer. But you're deserving of people and people are deserving of you. Don't hold back or isolate based on past fear or that one time it didn't go so well. Pick yourself up and make the next hard move towards people. Towards abundance. Towards a life outside the lines. You've got this. I believe so fiercely in you — Hannah Brencher

4. You don't have to talk every day to be close.

We don't have to talk every single day. Sometimes it's not possible with college, jobs, family, other friends and just life in general. It gets so busy, but the right ones make time for you whether it's on their commute, the weekend or at the end of a long day. When you do long distance with someone, you usually can know pretty quickly if they are one of the rare ones you may not come across in life again.

The smallest things often make the most impact — a text, quick phone call so they can hear your voice, hand-writing a letter (the way to my heart) or a video call while you both study. Tag each other in posts and send each other selfies or other pictures. I don't know about you, but it makes me happy to see a notification from one of "my people," knowing they were thinking of me miles away.

5. Staying is a choice.

Reality is what happens when we make ourselves come back to earth instead of running through space. I think we all want to run sometimes because we get too overwhelmed to stay. Just keep walking and you'll see this place is full of others just like us. Choosing to stay somewhere tough can be the hardest thing, but rewarding. There may be no hugs, regular hangouts or a hundred texts in between phone calls. But your person is still your person, even a thousand miles away.

6. You don't want to waste the time you have.

Your energy and time are valuable things. You get to decide where it goes. Try to focusing less on doing things and more on people you know will fill you and encourage others. We only get one chance at this life of love. It's all a choice we get to make. You can share the pain, but also some of the biggest joys with another person that you choose no matter the distance between you.

7. Nothing is the same as being face to face

You can hear the person's voice on the other line, see them on video chat, read each other's words over and over through letters and share thoughts in between through text. But nothing comes even close to sitting next to them, even in silence doing nothing. You can hear their voice. You can see their face. You can talk to them (and they can talk back to you) in real time; no delay. Every time I am face to face with my person, there is nothing like it and I just want to be present in every moment.

8. You have never missed anyone as much before

I never expected to be "that one" losing it in the airport. No one mentally prepares you for what it's going to feel like when you part ways and don't know when next time will be. I keep thinking of my favorite moments, wanting to live them over again. I keep thinking I see them in places they can't be. I keep hoping and thinking they will just walk up to me and start talking again. Then I know I'll be a little more okay and won't feel such a quiet, painful and empty spot in my heart. Each time I leave, I feel like I left something behind. I did, but also I took something with me that I didn't have before. It was all completely worth it, even if I'm still missing you.

The best things in life take work and long distance ones take extra work, but I'll never regret keeping up with those who are near and dear to my heart. Together we can face anything together, even if that means being vulnerable over video call instead of across the table.

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