A Guide To Sounding Smart At An Art Museum

A Guide To Sounding Smart At An Art Museum

Helpful tips that will make you appear like you really get art, even if you don't.

Have you ever gone to an art museum and felt like an idiot because the art isn't speaking to you. Does each painting just look like the last one, but maybe a little less clear? And have you ever gone with someone who loves talking about art, but you have absolutely nothing to say?

Well, lucky for you, I have put together a quick go-to guide on some tips and phrases that will turn you into an art genius! (Or at least make you appear to be one.) Use at your discretion, however if you are able to incorporate all into a visit -- you definitely will impress your friends, family, and the random strangers in the gallery. Here it is:

1. Walk right past a painting, but then go back to it immediately as if you didn't get to take in all its beauty the first time. Gasp audibly.

2. Pick a painting to look at far away. After some time, move extremely close to it. Say something like "remarkable!" or "I can't believe its the same painting!"

3. The moment you see a painting by Renoir, shout "Oh finally, a Renoir!"

4. Pick the biggest painting you see and say, "The scale! Breathtaking!"

5. Go to a painting and say, "Hmm, much brighter than I expected."

6. If you hear someone say that the painting they are looking at is one of their favorites, go to them, look at the painting for a moment then say, "Oh well then you definitely won't like his later work."

7. Pick a painting, talk about the artists fantastic ability to render (key word) the figures.

8. Go to a bench or stool in the gallery, study it as if it were a work of art. If someone asks, say, "When you think about it, isn't everything art?"

9. Go to any impressionist painting and say, "To think, people hated that back when it was created!" Walking away chuckling.

10. Look at any painting, say "I see, I see," as if you had an intellectual awakening.

11. Go to a painting and turn to a person looking at it. Study them intently. When they ask what you are doing, say, "I realized that in this moment we are the art." Walk away, still looking at them.

12. Find an artist that you have never heard of at all and say something like, "Oh I absolutely adore him. One of my all time favorites!"

13. Stand next to someone looking at a painting. Turn to them and say, "We have to remember that the true art lies within the artistic process."

14. Look at a painting and laugh, as if it is some joke that only you get.

15. Carry a glass of champagne with you at all times. Even if a guard says that you can't have a drink in the gallery, insist on carrying it, saying something like,"But how am I supposed to fully appreciate the art?" Laugh at the ignorance of the inexperienced art "lovers."

16. When in doubt, if you need something to say, just shout, "Oh! The use of color!" That will always work. Always.

And there you go! Just some tips that will convince anyone that you've been studying art for years. The next time you are at a museum, be sure to try some or all of them out! People will definitely be impressed.

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Walt Disney World Tips from a Pro

Even the experts need tips.
Dixie
Dixie

I've learned a thing or two about Disney from my frequent trips there growing up. Although I would consider myself a "Disney Pro," even the pros need some help from time to time.  Here are 16 tips to take in mind during your next trip to Walt Disney World. 

Value Resorts have just as much to offer as Moderate or Deluxe Resorts.

I always hear that Value Resorts don't have as much to offer as Moderate or Deluxe Resorts, but I believe they have just as much to offer. You get the same perks you would if you stayed at Moderate Resort. Personally, I prefer staying Pop Century- this will always be my number one choice for a hotel when I go to Disney.

Get the Park Hopper Option.

Disney's Park Hopper option is a lifesaver, especially when you plan to spend 4 days at Walt Disney World. You get to experience 2 or more parks each day, which means twice the fun! My tip: try and visit all four parks in one day during your next trip!

Get the Disney Dining Plan, not the Disney Deluxe Dining Plan.

My parents made this mistake on two of our vacations. You become too focused on when you have to schedule a dinner and use your credits, instead of enjoying your trip. It will be worth it in the end.

Get Memory Maker.

Get Memory Maker to help make your trip a little easier. I recommend getting it before your trip because it is cheaper. Plus when you get home, you can customize you photos by adding boarders and stickers!

Get tons and tons of pins.

Disney has a variety of pins (they are free!) that you can get to help make your trip more magical. They have a first trip pin, a birthday pin, a celebrating pin, a just engaged pin, a just married pin, and even an anniversary pin. Make sure to grab yourself a few pins to take home!

Wear Matching Shirts.

Matching shirts bring humor to your trip. You can look back and see how silly you look wearing these over the top shirts. I used to be against them, but they are growing on me and are now a tradition in my family.

Buy Mickey Ears or a Mickey Hat.

No trip is complete without Mickey Ears or a Mickey Hat. Buy the pair that speaks to you or go with the classics. If you aren't a fan of ears, grab yourself a hat! You can customize the ears to make your trip more special. My favorite ears are my Star Wars ears (they light up), whereas my favorite hat is my graduation ears I got to remember my special day.

Download the Disney Parks app.

The Disney Parks app is a completely free app, which helps make your trip easier. You can get wait times in real time, as well as book dining, make FastPass+ reservations, and even look at your Memory Maker photos!

Character Dining isn't just for children.

You will not regret having breakfast, lunch, or dinner with the characters (even if you are an adult). Character dining helps make your trip more magical, knowing that you get to see the characters without having to stand in line. I think my personal favorite character dining has to be either Tusker House at Animal Kingdom (breakfast with Mickey and his safari friends) or Cinderella's Royal Table at Magic Kingdom (breakfast with Cinderella and the princesses).

You will have to stand in line at some point.

Unfortunately, you will have to stand in line at some point, whether it be to see a character or get on a ride or waiting for the bus, you will have to stand for long periods of time. My tip: wear comfortable shoes, it makes all the difference.

One word: FastPass+.

Get FastPass+ reservations 30 days in advance (if you have a reservation). FastPass+ is a game changer for Disney. Make sure to get FastPass+ for rides you really want to get on or for rides you know will have a long wait time. I recommend getting FastPass+ for Peter Pan (always over 120 wait time), Space Mountain, Seven Dwarfs, Splash Mountains, Test Track, Frozen Ever After, Avatar: Flight of Passage (absolutely amazing!), Expedition Everest, Aerosmith, and Tower of Terror.

Visit the Countries.

EPCOT's countries are one of Disney's best attractions (in my opinion). When I went to Disney with my best friend, I truly discovered the beauty of each country. My tip: take a photo in each country to show how each one is different.

Be sure to check out each resort.

If you have the time, go check out the resorts you would like to stay at. You can check out different resorts by simply hopping onto a bus or hopping on the Monorail to check out the resorts near Magic Kingdom, it's eye-opening to see how each resort is different. My favorite resort to visit is Disney's Grand Floridian, this hotel is so beautiful!

Spend time at your resort.

It's nice to spend a day or an evening taking in your resort. Whether it be spending the day at the pool or walking around to see the different themes, you paid money to stay there. I love staying at Pop Century because each group of rooms is based on a decade. Typically, I stay in the 50's and I love going to the Flower pool.

Ship your merchandise back to your room.

Disney's free delivery option makes spending money easy. You can get everything you buy sent back to your hotel, free of charge, as long as you fill out the form. I use this option because I typically buy glass ornaments or jewelry, it makes my life easier knowing it will be at my hotel instead of having to worry about it.

Splurge and get what you want.

You never know when you will be going back to Walt Disney World, so splurge and get what you want. Typically, I get Alex and Ani bracelets as my splurge item, but during my last trip, I got a pearl from China. It's my favorite piece of jewelry, worth every penny!!

Dixie
Dixie

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Poetry On Odyssey: On A Dark Road

Let's talk.

Let's talk. For a while now, every week a poem has gone up from me, and every week I have been somewhat apprehensive when posting it. There's something about revealing one's innermost thoughts through writing that can be scary, and having something artistic like a poem somehow makes it worse in my mind. But, as of late, I've realized that it doesn't matter.

Much like singing and other forms of art, poetry is a tool for a performer, writer, or author to express themselves. It IS an extension into the mind of the author, and their perception of the world around them. It ISN'T a reflection of a person's worth, or of their humanity. Sometimes I feel like we lose sight of that, and I'm talking to the performers out there when I say this, not necessarily to the audiences. We all tend to beat ourselves up over things that are inconsequential, or are harder on ourselves than reasoning dictates we should be, and we should be aware of this.

My hope in saying this is to make people realize that the better we treat ourselves, hopefully, the better we will treat those around us. Gosh, wasn't this supposed to be a poem? I'll get off my soapbox now, apologies, and I hope you enjoy.

The dark road,

The night sky,

The lantern lights,

That pass on by,




The horizon black,

Resurgently clear,

Uncertainly manifested,

A thin veneer,




Mysterious in every way,

Hiding from the light of day,

Only coming out to play,

On a night,

so black and clear,


A trail without start,

Nor end,

A place for weary souls,

To mend,

Two lanterns bright,

Light the way,

Distracting us from our pain,

and sin,


We travel for the journey,

not the end,


We cruise on down,

'Round the bend,


The clouds open,

and stars shine,


On a dark road,

Without end,

Cover Image Credit: Pixnio

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