It's that time of year, and you can't avoid it any longer. Summer job time.

My parents really are the coolest people around. They let me dilly dally my first month of summer, traveling, hanging out, "taking an online class". But it's happened, even the most laid back of parents have finally put their foot down and lowered the hammer.

"You have to get a summer job." They said, both looking at me, pretending to be stern.  My heart stopped. A job? How am I supposed to be able to watch 17 hours of netflix a day with a job cutting into my time? What about cat videos? They were all gone, ripped from my lazy hands. The activities solely reserved for summer, the lounging and lying around were ruined. I began to think, what kind of summer job do I really see myself doing? It was time to be realisitc. Dedicating myself to 24 hours a week

is a huge commitment. I weighed my options...

Lifeguard:

Pros: Sit by the pool for hours on end tanning. What are the odds I'll ever actually have to save someone? Not that good... right? ... RIGHT??

Cons: Ugly uniforms= one piece tan. The chance that I'd actually have to save someone... 

Verdict: Not the worst suggestion, but I have sun sensitive skin.

Babysitter:

Pros: Watch TV with the kids, free food, and I can totally follow a kid's soccer game

Cons: Kids. 

Verdict: Definitely not. I have an eight year old brother at home. If I wanted to torture myself I would just stay with him all day.

Gardening for Neighbors:

Pros: Flowers are pretty.. I guess. 

Cons: I'm not a fan of bugs, birds, allergies, or the outdoors. 

Verdict: Just... no.

Tutoring:

Pros: N/A

Cons: Again, with the kids... and the possibility of algebra.

Verdict: Who thought that was a good idea?

Car Wash Service: 

Pros: Daylight hours, local, my friend Christopher has one. He makes good money. 

Cons: I live in Palm Springs... the temperature average is 118 degrees on a cool day. 

Verdict: I'll have to buy new clothes with the money I make, because all my old ones will have sweat stains. Still a possibility. 

Housesitter:

Pros: Sitting in the air conditioning without being bothered by my family. All day TV. 

Cons: Other people's houses are terrifying. They creak and all. I'm not trying to get murdered. 

Verdict: It'd be less scary with a partner. Make mental note to place ad for housesitting partner. 

Elderly Errand Runner:

Pros: Get to hang out with Mrs. Wasserman all day. She's good times. She has the big cable package and tivo. 

Cons: She keeps asking me to take her to the liquor store.. I'm not 21. 

Verdict: Might be fun, don't think it's stable though.

Verdict on Summer Jobs in General:

Hard pass. Nothing is really all that appealing. Besides, I'll fall behind on Game of Thrones. I wonder how I'll break this one to my parents.