My brother can find his way around no matter where he is. I, however, would need help finding my way out of a wet paper bag, even if I had a map. When my family goes on vacation, we count on my brother to read subway maps, remember where we've parked, take note of street names, and so on. I am along for the ride, looking in shop windows, screaming, "PUPPY!" every time I see a dog, taking photos of local color, and smiling at cute girls.
I am currently in L.A., staying at the Queen Mary Hotel, which is a beautiful ship. Today, my family and I wandered around a touristy area full of shops and chain restaurants. My dad is interested in lighthouses, sports, and local restaurants. My brother likes sports as well, while my mom likes exploring and reading historical markers. I like to shop and take photos. Because none of us have a lot of common interests, we struggle to find things we all like to do together. Now that my brother and I are adults (more or less), my parents trust us to roam freely. I decided to go shopping, which was fun until the inevitable happened. I got lost. I survived the ordeal, and lived to tell about it. Thus, I present to you: Katherine's guide for getting lost on vacation.
Step One: Street signs
Take note of the street signs around you so that you will have some idea of where you are. Even if you've never been in the area before, when you walk around in circles, some of the street signs will look familiar to you, and you'll know you've been there before. Or have you? The madness sets in...
Step Two: Photos
Take photos of everything! Send them to your friends! Post them on Instagram! This way, when you go missing, people will be able to piece together where you've been and start the search for you. I felt a deep connection with this bear.
Step Three: Ask for directions
Everyone is a road map! You just have to know who to ask. Try stopping into local businesses and asking for directions. It helps if you're bilingual. I stopped into a 7/11 to ask someone where the bus stop was. None of the employees spoke enough English to guide me. I'm conversationally fluent in Spanish-- at least I thought I was. No one could understand me as I babbled that I was lost and needed to get back to my hotel. I can, however, name all the colors in Spanish, which was not particularly comforting.
Step Four: Get something to eat
You're lost, so you might as well make the best of it. Stop into an interesting restaurant, bar, or cafe and order the weirdest, most expensive thing on the menu. This way, everyone will think you know what you're doing, and they won't know that you're worried you may never see your family or your pillow again.
Step Five: "Pokemon Go!"
Chances are there are a lot of Pokestops and Pokemon you haven't caught yet waiting for you to find them! While you aimlessly wander the streets of wherever you are, wondering if you're going to make it out alive, you may as well hatch some eggs. Home certainly does not look like this!
Step Six: Question your life choices
You have no idea where you are. You've been walking and walking. Your legs are tired. It's hot. You're sweaty. Your hair is deflating. How could you have let yourself get into this situation? Is it because you didn't pay attention in second grade when you were taught how to read a map? Maybe you should have had your eyes on the street and not on your phone. (It's okay, that meme your friend sent you was totally worth this ordeal.) You probably shouldn't have followed that guy with the adorable dog for three blocks, trying to catch up to him so you could pet the dog. This probably happened because you are a fundamentally flawed human with no sense of direction, time, space, or anything else. Oh well, if you die on these unfamiliar streets because you ran into the road chasing an Eevee, just blame it on natural selection.
The moral of the story is as follows: keep your wits about you. Fear is natural, but panic is deadly. Don't freak out if you get lost. You'll find your way back to your destination eventually, and if you're on foot, you can only go so far. If I've learned anything from today's adventure, it's that they need to make leashes for adults so that someone can keep track of me!
