When I was in grade school, my mom began losing her vision. She went from being perfectly fine, to no longer being able to see gas prices while driving me home from my swim meet, to being declared legally blind and not being able to read or drive within a matter of a few short weeks. As a 10 year old kid, this was a lot to take in. Life isn’t a piece of cake for children who have a parent with disabilities and it’s something that takes time to adapt to.
You’re forced to grow up sooner than you planned, whether you choose to or not. It’s almost like the tables have turned when there’s something wrong with your parents. You’re no longer the child when you have to take on parental responsibilities, like picking out your mom’s clothes to make sure they match, turning the stove on and off so she doesn’t burn the house down, holding her hand when you cross the street to make sure that she gets across safely, and telling her when there are steps or potholes so she won’t fall (because she will eventually and she’ll break her ankle and you’ll never hear the end of it).
Being someone’s personal seeing eye dog, especially at such a young age, is stressful sometimes. But you have to be able to put yourself in their shoes to understand how hard this whole situation truly is. Imagine what it must be like to live in a world where you cant see, where every day is a really foggy day and you don’t know what’s around you until it is right in front of you. Imagine what it must be like to not be able to go anywhere until someone is home or has a free spot in their schedule to take you wherever you need to go. Imagine what it must be like to not know how you look everyday. Is your makeup blended? Do you need to tweeze your eyebrows? Do your clothes match? And also imagine what it must be like to not be able to fully watch your children grow up and to have to let them take care of you instead of the other way around.
People with disabilities (and their family members) don’t want to be treated any differently, but it’s always appreciated when you’re sensitive to their situation. I’m lucky enough to have friends that are patient with my mom and enjoy helping her with little things, like reading the menu to her when we go to restaurants or helping her find things around the house. But some people aren’t always so kind. You can’t physically see something wrong with her, so it’s easy to mistake things she does as rude or slow because she simply cannot see and needs extra time or assistance.
Please be patient when working with someone with a disability, be kind, be understanding, and be normal. They don’t enjoy asking for help anymore than you do. And please be understanding with their family members too. Taking time out of my schedule to help my mother will always take priority over a social event, so don’t take it personally if I have to bail last second. Learning to adapt to my mom’s lack of vision is an ever-changing process, but as long as I’m helping her, I wouldn’t want to be anyone else’s eyes.
