To claim that I’m “old” would be an offense to anyone older than me, casting a false sense that I’m at the latter half of my life and suggesting that those past the age of 19 are ancient and irrelevant. I know without a doubt that the latter is untrue—various establishments control my freedoms, my money and my GPA.
Regardless, I have been called “old," albeit by a 5-year-old, in response to not knowing what I wanted to be when I grew up. I was 17, relieved to be finished with junior year, and now faced with the realization that there was life after high school. Spending the first half of summer working for a community art center, I had asked the kids, who were enrolled in a summer art class the center provided, what they wanted to be when they grew up. They quickly asked the same.
“You don’t know what you want to do? But you’re so old!” one, missing his front teeth and at that stage of fearing cooties, had exclaimed in shock.
“Yeah, I’m only in first grade, and I know what I want to do,” affirmed another as she wiped sidewalk chalk all over her dress.
“You could be an artist,” a third suggested. As the teacher’s assistant and a designated role model, these 12 little humans, still learning proper motor skills, thought my artistic abilities were amazing.
Since that summer, my idea of “what I want to be when I grow up” has both come into focus and slipped out of my grasp. I know I want to work with disadvantaged communities, psychology is fun to apply in real life and that living things are pretty cool to research. Being a doctor is what I’ve settled on, but my passion and drive is not nearly as energetic as some of my friends and fellow students. Ask my roommate why she wants to major in aerospace engineering, and she passionately rattles on about space and math. No doubt that she knows what she wants to major in and work as. I’m still uncertain if that means I’m stumbling along a path that isn’t meant for me if I don’t react the same way, or if I’m just allowing myself to get bogged down in all the prerequisites and intro courses that medical school demands.
Perhaps I will change my mind during my stay at the University of Washington. While others have known that they have wanted to become doctors since they were 10 years old, there are a variety of professions I’ve contemplated. The ludicrous ones popped up in early childhood. I wanted to be an explorer around first grade and then learned that most everything had already been “found” and conquered by gold-hungry, European men. Soon after this discovery, I thought I wanted to work as a vet so I could “play with animals all day." Of course, someone had to mention that my work would also involve putting dogs down.
I had always loved language arts in elementary school, and it manifested into a desire to become a writer in fifth grade. As I fantasized about seeing my name emblazoned on hardbacks, perched at the front of bookstores and boasted as best-sellers, my interest in science grew alongside my passion for writing. Chemistry involved exciting demonstrations and real-life applications and learning about the importance of maintaining ecosystems deepened my appreciation for our state’s evergreens and fresh air.
As high school came around, reality set in. I will admit—I am on the STEM track in the hopes of obtaining a well-paying, secure job after college. Not to say that I don’t love science, but financial stability has been an immense motivator in my studies. According to the Economics and Statistics Administration under the U.S. Department of Commerce, occupations in STEM fields are projected to increase 17 percent through 2018, and wages within this field are typically 26 percent more compared to non-STEM pay. I wish I could say that money holds no sway over my career choices, but it holds a considerable weight. It definitely does to my parents.
If asked again “What do you want to be when you grow up?” I would say for now, “I want to be a doctor.” In two years’ time, I might zealously declare “I am going to be a doctor!” Maybe at the end of my undergraduate career, I won’t even be on the medical track anymore. While proposing such forecasts will often elicit appall and scorn from other pre-med students, I think having an open mind to various jobs and majors is healthy, so long as I stay driven to maintain good grades and a passion to help people. By no means am I old yet; I have plenty of time.
