Something that I know I’ve always struggled with for a long time is losing friends. It’s not that it happens all the time, I’m not that horrible of a person. It’s just that when it happens I take it very personally. I’ve slowly come to realize that I shouldn’t because most of the time it’s just a part of growing up. It’s a hard reality to go through but we all experience this in some way.
Usually it begins when you start to notice that you and a friend just don’t vibe like you used to. You’ll try and hang on for months or even years to something that used to be, but there’s nothing there. This often happens when you go off to college or change schools and have to leave friends behind. All of a sudden you just don’t have the same interests anymore and now the relationship feels forced and you both slowly drift apart.
Other times it seems like you don’t even know the person you once called a friend. You two have traveled such different paths over the course of your friendship that you not only have different interests but the relationship feels toxic. It’s sort of like those cops on a TV series who have a soft spot for a former friend who’s now a drug dealer. No good usually comes from it, even though it seems harmless at first to hold on to the past.
The worst is similar to the one before but more malicious. When two people used to be friends and you not only went down separate roads but one turns on the other or both turn against each other. Those are catastrophic and cause so much negativity that as adults, we shouldn’t allow ourselves to be a part of those situations, yet we still fall into them occasionally no matter who we are.
Maybe you’ve changed and no longer like to do what you used to and that’s the only reason you were friends. Maybe they’ve gone down a path that you personally can’t support and they resent you for that or vice versa. Whatever it is, the person you are now isn't the same person you were when you became friends with someone and so you may no longer be compatible. It’s a part of life and a part of growing up. You grow out of the people you once called your friends.
Even though it’s bound to happen to all of us at some point in our lives, it’s a hard truth to deal with. Growing out of friends is one of the aspects of growing up that really sucks, even though sometimes it’s for the best—just don’t take it too personally.
