A wise man once said, "There's only two types of people in this world; Greeks, and everyone else who wishes they were Greek." ... and if you don't know that this is a direct quote from Gus Portokalos from "My Big Fat Greek Wedding," then you're most likely a xeno, and this article is not for you.
The "mati"
... nothing is better than having to explain to all of your American friends why your grandma and aunts are spitting on you and doing the sign of the cross. "Oh, you know, it's just to keep the demons away because someone looked at me... You don't do that? Never mind."
Having Easter at a different time
"Easter was like a month ago..." uhh, no it wasn't! Us Greeks use Jewish Passover as a way (read: the correct way) to mark when our Easter is. Because that's how it happened back in the day, anyway. Not only does the Greek easter bunny bring awesome gifts, not jelly beans, BUT we get the discount candy too!
Not having your name on anything
Keychains, magnets, bracelets, necklaces... you name it. All of your Ashley and Courtney-type friends ALWAYS had them, but your name? Forget it. Your mom or yiayia would just make you their own version instead.
Being able to quote "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" like it's your job
WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T EAT NO MEAT? has become a household joke, and every time you see a bottle of windex you laugh.
Greek School
Sleepovers on Friday nights growing up? Forget about it. Unlike your xeni friends, you had to be up bright and early every Saturday morning at church for Greek school. Not only did you do regular homework, but Greek school homework as well. But, let's be real, you know your yiayia did it for you.
Teaching your friends swear words
Nothing beats being in elementary school and your friends thinking you were the shit because you could swear in a different language, and nobody would know what you were saying. Ahhh, those poor teachers, walking around wondering why a bunch of ten-year-olds were yelling "malaka."
Being more affectionate than most people
Greeks, and other Europeans alike, are very affectionate people. While other's might find it weird that you hug your siblings in public, or kiss your parents, or just about anyone else for that matter — it's natural for you! Growing up Greek there is below zero personal space, and being smothered is not an option, it's an expectation. While the Miller's down the street might shake hands, your family goes in for the kill with a big ol' bear hug and kisses on the cheeks.
Hair. Everywhere. All. The. Time
As a third grade girl, I was more capable of growing a mustache than my adult male teacher at the time. Bushy, full brows are now the style? Psh, we've been rockin' those babies since the womb.
Church = a car show, a fashion show and a match-making event.
Pulling into the church parking lot there are a few things you can expect every time; at least 10 Mercedes', women dressed to impress like it's NYC Fashion week, and aggressive moms and grandmothers throwing their sons/daughters at you as prospective spouses.
When you grow up Greek in America, whether you're first generation or not, there are just some things we do differently than the Amerikani.
