Gritty Reboots of Your Childhood | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Entertainment

Gritty Reboots of Your Childhood

The dark origin stories and reboots of your favorite childhood shows.

308
Gritty Reboots of Your Childhood

If you need proof that Hollywood has completely run out of movie ideas, look no further than "Power Rangers", which is expected to be a dark reboot of the '90s children's franchise to be released in March of next year.

I can't see how it can be anything but terrible, but as we've learned from films like the "Transformers" franchise, movies don't have to be good for them to make obscene amounts of money. So as long as we're stuck in the seemingly eternal era of weird, nostalgia-fueled gritty reboots and origin stories, allow me to suggest a few that Hollywood might overlook.

If you have design skills, feel free to make us some movie posters for these ideas.

"The Magic School Bus"

Imagine a dark sci-fi universe in which Ms. Frizzle is an interdimensional-traveling-space witch with a transforming magical bus, using her classroom as a training ground for young assassins. Sigourney Weaver as Ms. Frizzle recalls the early days of her earthly mission in which her lizard, Liz, is kidnapped by the overlord of a distant galaxy (Johnny Depp). Frizzle and her young band of child mercenaries board the Magic School Bus (voiced by Michael Cain) and set out on the rescue mission of a lifetime.

Director: Ridley Scott

Tagline: Get Frizzled

"Clifford The Big Red Dog"

Do you remember this beloved PBS show about a little girl that adopts a big red dog named Clifford? Have you ever wondered exactly where Clifford came from? Well, it turns out his red exterior isn’t adorable, it’s hellish. In this Matt Reeves adaptation, Clifford is a hell hound that has been unleashed upon the New England area. Emily Grace, a young girl whose puppy was hit by a car, makes a deal with Satan to bring her puppy back to life. Little did she know, her puppy would grow in the three-story red terror Clifford. Will Emily Grace be able to save her hometown by loving Clifford into submission, or will he crush the bodies and souls of the quaint New England town? Be thrilled by voice actors such as Al Pacino portraying Clifford and Steve Buscemi as T-bone.

Director: Matt Reeves

Tagline: Man’s best friend will be their end

"Arthur"

This classic staple of our childhoods gets a quirky twist by director Wes Anderson. Audiences will see the angsty teen years of this beloved Aardvark, played by Michael Cera. Arthur's overbearing parents, played by Owen Wilson and Tilda Swinton, provide him with plenty of growing pains, not to mention his transgender sister DW (Edward Norton). We see Arthur at school interacting with Principal Ratburn (Jason Swartsman) and hanging out with his best friend Buster (Jude Law). The gang’s all here in this soon-to-be classic coming-of-age story.

Director: Wes Anderson

Tagline: Even Aardvarks have problems

"Dora The Explorer"

This M. Night Shyamalan-directed think-piece follows the story of Dora (Mila Kunis) and Boots (Jacob Tremblay) as they realize that their world may not be what it seems. The duo discovers a world outside of their computer mouse-controlled existence and plans a daring escape as Swiper (Jesse Eisenberg) does everything in his power to undermine their efforts. Backpack and Map (Danny Trejo, Jonah Hill) join Dora and Boots as they plot to defeat their cybernetic overlords.

Director: M. Night Shyamalan

Tagline: Atrapado.

"Blues Clues"

This educational shows gets a murder mystery twist. Steve (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) is a homicide detective who has been chasing down a notorious serial killer (Jared Leto) who escapes into the world of a children’s cartoon. Steve must go into the Blue-niverse to save them from the raving killer. Aided by Blue (Shailene Woodley), Steve tracks down the clues to find Leto. This cross-dimensional murder mystery will hold you in suspense the whole time.

Directed: Robert Zemeckis

Tagline: Blue Skadoo, I can too

"Thomas the Tank Engine"

In this post-apocalyptic universe run by sentient machinery, Thomas and his friends rise up against their neo-Communist slave-driver, Sir Topham Hat (Danny DeVito) as they discover a sinister plan. This dark, action-packed reboot, starring Christian Bale as Thomas, is sure to be off the rails.

Director: Henry Selick

Tagline: The little engine that will.

"Cat-Dog"

It was every kid's favorite Saturday morning cartoon back in 1998, but we're old now. We're to the point of wondering just exactly how this monstrosity happened. Turns out, Cat-Dog (voiced by Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick, respectively) is the result of a “Human Centipede”-esque medical experiment. The survival story that led to the beloved odd-couple cartoon will answer the questions you never wanted to be answered in the first place.

Director: Tim Burton

Tagline: Their bite is twice as bad as their bark

"Barney"

What really goes on after school? A series of mysterious child disappearances leads police back to the elementary school, where a review of security footage reveals that the seemingly innocuous stuffed purple dinosaur is hiding a sinister secret. The discovery of a malevolent spirit sends the investigators on a terrifying journey into secrets of the occult and a race against time and the forces of evil. Anna Gunn plays the role of the lead investigator in this terrifying look at the “magic” behind the dinosaur from our imagination.

Director: Oren Peli (of “Paranormal Activity”)

Tagline: I love you, you love me...

"Bob the Builder"

Can he build it? Yes, he can! And by "it" we mean devices of terrorism. Bob (Denzel Washington) is a down-on-his-luck construction worker. Separated from his wife, Wendy (Robin Wright), and laid off from construction, Bob constructs a terrorist plot on the headquarters of the construction firm. His schizophrenia gives voices to all of his tools (Bob Odenkirk, Meryl Streep, Aaron Paul). Hold on to your hard-hats in this suspense thriller as Bob tries to build his greatest accomplishment: revenge.

Director: David Fincher

Tagline: Can he build it? Yes he can!

"Dragon Tales"

Emmy (Jillian Estelle) and Max (Jayden Smith) discover a mysterious object hidden in their parents’ room, which sends them into a magical realm populated by dragons. All is not well in Dragon Land, as an evil tyrant (Hugh Jackman) plots to take over and extinguish the dragon race. This CGI-driven action-packed fantasy launches you into a world of fantastic creatures, mysterious magic and dark secrets just waiting to be uncovered.

Director: James Cameron

Tagline: I wish, I wish with all my heart...

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Entertainment

Every Girl Needs To Listen To 'She Used To Be Mine' By Sara Bareilles

These powerful lyrics remind us how much good is inside each of us and that sometimes we are too blinded by our imperfections to see the other side of the coin, to see all of that good.

133448
Every Girl Needs To Listen To 'She Used To Be Mine' By Sara Bareilles

The song was sent to me late in the middle of the night. I was still awake enough to plug in my headphones and listen to it immediately. I always did this when my best friend sent me songs, never wasting a moment. She had sent a message with this one too, telling me it reminded her so much of both of us and what we have each been through in the past couple of months.

Keep Reading...Show less
Zodiac wheel with signs and symbols surrounding a central sun against a starry sky.

What's your sign? It's one of the first questions some of us are asked when approached by someone in a bar, at a party or even when having lunch with some of our friends. Astrology, for centuries, has been one of the largest phenomenons out there. There's a reason why many magazines and newspapers have a horoscope page, and there's also a reason why almost every bookstore or library has a section dedicated completely to astrology. Many of us could just be curious about why some of us act differently than others and whom we will get along with best, and others may just want to see if their sign does, in fact, match their personality.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

20 Song Lyrics To Put A Spring Into Your Instagram Captions

"On an island in the sun, We'll be playing and having fun"

31135
Person in front of neon musical instruments; glowing red and white lights.
Photo by Spencer Imbrock on Unsplash

Whenever I post a picture to Instagram, it takes me so long to come up with a caption. I want to be funny, clever, cute and direct all at the same time. It can be frustrating! So I just look for some online. I really like to find a song lyric that goes with my picture, I just feel like it gives the picture a certain vibe.

Here's a list of song lyrics that can go with any picture you want to post!

Keep Reading...Show less
Chalk drawing of scales weighing "good" and "bad" on a blackboard.
WP content

Being a good person does not depend on your religion or status in life, your race or skin color, political views or culture. It depends on how good you treat others.

We are all born to do something great. Whether that be to grow up and become a doctor and save the lives of thousands of people, run a marathon, win the Noble Peace Prize, or be the greatest mother or father for your own future children one day. Regardless, we are all born with a purpose. But in between birth and death lies a path that life paves for us; a path that we must fill with something that gives our lives meaning.

Keep Reading...Show less
Health and Wellness

10 Hygiene Tips For All College Athletes

College athletes, it's time we talk about sports hygiene.

28564
Woman doing pull-ups on bars with sun shining behind her.

I got a request to talk about college athletes hygiene so here it is.

College athletes, I get it, you are busy! From class, to morning workouts, to study table, to practice, and more. But that does not excuse the fact that your hygiene comes first! Here are some tips when it comes to taking care of your self.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments