Those of you who know me are aware that I consider myself a movie buff. I have always held a passionate interest in cinema, film theory and film criticism. As an avid film enthusiast, I have seen my fair share of action, adventure, comedy, horror and drama. I have seen war epics, thrillers, westerns, biopics, chick flicks, and documentaries. I’ve seen animation, Claymation, and anime movies; movies about magical lands, martial art competitions, apocalyptic worlds, paranormal activities, and covert government operations. Thanks to my mom, I’ve also seen more horse movies than what is socially acceptable.
I’ve laughed and I’ve wept during these motion pictures. Sometimes both simultaneously. I’ve seen black and white movies, silent movies, and movies with subtitles. I’ve watched Spirited Away, Back to the Future and Star Wars so many times I know every word by heart. It is safe to say that I am a connoisseur of the film industry. Which is why I can confidently say that Disney Channel Original movies are the greatest pieces of cinematic genius I’ve ever had the honor of watching.
If you grew up in an Amish community, which is the only possible explanation I can think of for not having experienced the wonders of the Disney Channel Original movies, never fear. I have expertly put together a convenient list of the greatest Disney Channel movies of all time.
10. Mom’s Got a Date with a Vampire
Although in retrospect this movie is probably the least scary movie ever created, it scared the living daylights out of me at the time. In my defense, I was only six when it aired. The icing on the cake and justification for this movie’s inclusion on this list is that the protagonist, Adam, has a best friend named Duffy. If that's not cause for celebration, I don’t know what is.
9. Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century
As soon as you read the words “Disney Channel Original Movie” in this article, this was the movie that probably jumped to the forefront of your mind. Zenon is truly an inspiration to us all, saving the fate of her space station home and managing to look stylish while doing so.
8. Get a Clue
Who doesn’t love young Lindsay Lohan? With the exception of Parent Trap and Mean Girls, this film is Lindsay at her finest. Why this movie got a 42 percent on Rotten Tomatoes is beyond me, I always considered it a mystery masterpiece.
7. The Cheetah Girls
This list just wouldn’t be complete without the Cheetah Girls. Galleria, Dorinda, Chanel, and Aqua were a powerhouse singing group that every young girl dreamed of being a part of back in the day. They were the first Disney role models to send out the message to stay true to who you are and not change for anyone. And you know you still know every word to “Cinderella.”
6. Pixel Perfect
When you combine Phil from Phil of the Future and computerized holographic equipment the result is beautiful. This movie was a roller-coaster of emotion. It included jealousy, heartbreak, a coma, depression and (spoiler alert) a lightning strike resulting in the non-return of a beloved Hologram all rolled together into one unforgettable movie.
5. The Luck of the Irish
Whoever invented the premise of this movie should be awarded a Nobel Prize. Or an Oscar. A junior high school student named Kyle learns that he is half leprechaun after his ears become suspiciously pointy and his hair starts turning orange. Because someone has stolen his lucky gold coin, a relic that allows all the leprechauns in Kyle’s family to pass as normal human beings, they all start reverting to their true forms. This results in a family quest to catch the evil leprechaun Seamus and reclaim the coin. And if that wasn’t enough to entice you, there is an inspirational musical number at the end, when Kyle leads the crowd at heritage day in singing “This Land is Your Land”.
4. High School Musical
I felt obligated to put this one on the list due to the fact that it is the most successful film that Disney Channel ever produced and the film’s soundtrack was the best-selling album in the United States in 2006. I’ll admit that I’ve listened to “What I’ve Been Looking For” while running on the treadmill at the gym. I would not recommend it.
3. Halloweentown
Every October I looked forward to Disney Channel playing reruns of Halloweentown. Aggie Cromwell was, and still is, the most charming grandmother in existence and Benny the skeleton cab driver may have been slightly annoying and horrendous at telling jokes, but he was endearing nonetheless. As a testament to the excellence that was Halloweentown, Disney Channel wisely decided to make it into a series. Come this October, not only must you rewatch Halloweentown, you should include it in a marathon with Halloweentown II: Kalabar’s Revenge, Halloweentown High, and Return to Halloweentown.
2. Smart House
I still dream about the kitchen in this movie that gives you any food you ask for.
1. Cadet Kelly
Kelly Collins was essentially Lizzie McGuire in a military uniform, sassy and feisty, yet caring and entirely lovable. The end of this film was filled with so many heartwarming moments that viewers should be sure to have a box of tissues at hand.
