As I prepare to take the Graduate Record Examinations (GRE) within the next couple of days, I've found myself having a unique train of thought, defined by fear and nerves. The GRE is an exam that can be compared to the ACT exam, but instead the scores will be sent to graduate schools, so that they may factor them into their decision when deciding if a student is at the standards of their program.
1. "This can't be that hard. I shouldn't worry too much."
Foolish me, not having looked yet at the piles of vocubulary words that I need to know just to understand the questions being asked.
2. Looks at study tools: "Do I really need graduate school?"
3. "I've never heard any of these words in my life. I can't pronounce them. I don't know what they mean. I think letters have just been thrown together and called a word."
Prior to studying, I thought I had a pretty advanced vocabulary. It turns out I was missing out on the words that graduate students are supposed to use. It seems they are too bright for the words I was taught.
4. "Is it too late to ask for a refund?"
5. "Can I just have someone take my place the day of. I bet there is someone smarter out there who looks oddly like me."
I wouldn't advise this, it turns out it's a bit frowned upon.
6. When I succeed at a practice question: "Yes, I've got this. I will be getting acceptance letters left and right."
7. And then it turns out it was a fluke easy one. "I could become a stripper instead."
This is the point when I learned there really is a WikiHow article for everything. I applaud the strippers of the world, as I am not capable following every step on the long list.
8. "Is it too late to at least change my major?"
I realize I would practically have to restart my college career, but it'll save me from the shame of the results I'm about to find myself receiving.
9. "I've done other good things with my life, right? Can I beg the admissions offices to look at those events instead?"
10. "Wait... maybe I have a small chance."
A silver lining starts to appear in the distance. Words start to make sense. Questions don't seem as challenging as they once did.
11. "Who am I kidding?"
It's not healthy to lie to yourself.
I can only hope that good results will occur, but if not, I suppose I can start working out more and find some heels that are at least four inches tall. (Yes, according to WikiHow, this is how strippers have to start their careers. Respectable.)