I’ve spent the past three weeks at my grandparent’s house, which is the most time I've done so since I was in elementary school. Patience has been tested, waist bands expanded and money spent.
Here are some of the things I’ve observed during my stay.
1. From the moment you get there, everything is about what you want and need.
Need a recruitment dress for in the fall? Done. Want to go to that Tex-Mex restaurant you’ve missed? Check. Have to get some closed-toe shoes for your internship? By God they found the three DSWs nearby.
2. They will want to spend a lot of time with you.
And by a lot, I mean if I sleep in past 10 a.m., my grandma will sneak into my room and check to see if I’m breathing. Think about the way Edward Cullen watched Bella sleep in "Twilight" as a reference.
3. The word “diet” does not exist at your grandparents.
Food is love, and your grandparents love you a whole lot. It also doesn’t help that your grandma keeps two packages of Oreos in her freezer and asks if you want one every other hour. “The freezer?,” you ask. It’s so she can hide them from herself. Don’t question the logic.
4. You will also never have to make anything for yourself to eat the entire time you’re there if you don’t want to.
Here's a real conversation between my grandma and me five minutes after I woke up.
Mimi: You want some toast?
Me: No, thank you.
Mimi: You want some eggs?
Me: No, thank you.
Mimi: I can make some sausage!
Me: No, thanks.
Mimi: Come on, let me make you a piece of toast.
Me: I’m just going to have some cereal
Mimi: *eyeroll* Ugh, you always eat cereal.
5. They also get offended if you just want to eat a sandwich for lunch.
Still confused by this, but apparently it has something to do with the fact that they will make literally anything and everything for you, and you decided to make a sandwich yourself.
6. Alone time becomes very, very precious.
Fortunately, at 20-years-old, I am finally allowed to take the car and go somewhere by myself after multiple safety lectures and telling them where I’m going and what time I’m coming back.
7. Your grandma and grandpa will eventually be giving you differing advice on the same topic, and they will force you to pick a side.
Beware of this. Someone will get upset.
8. They are not above guilt-tripping you.
My grandma is a pro at pulling the “we won’t be here forever” card to make me do things with her that I don’t want to. Morbid? Yes. Does it work? Every time.
9. They will make you help them with everything technological that they have been confused about since the last time you were there.
I didn’t know downloading pictures from Facebook was such a hard concept, but alas, we’re three weeks in, and they're still not understanding.
10. They are so happy that you are there.
The reason that you have no personal space is because they love you and are just really excited you’re there. Embrace it.
