I have always dreamed of pursuing a career that would help others. When I told my family that I wanted to become a doctor, they were ecstatic. My grandfather was especially proud of me – he had gone through heart surgery, cancer, and multiple hospital visits. I remember him telling me how thankful he was for the growing field of medicine. Because of medicine, he could spend more time on this Earth with his family. He could hold his great-grandchildren without pain. He could be the best grandfather ever. I say that with certainty.
A week before winter break, I found out that he was having trouble breathing and was at a hospital near my campus. I took the subway that snowy morning to visit him. Although he was in pain, he kept a positive attitude. We talked for a while, and I was so happy to see him smiling. That was the beautiful thing about him. He was always smiling. He was truly an inspirational man.
I sat by his bedside. I asked him how he was feeling. He said he felt fine, although I wasn't sure how true that was. He asked me questions about college. He and my grandmother proudly told the nurses about my GPA - I told them they didn't have to do that, but they were so proud of me that they wanted to tell everyone.
He told me how happy he was that he could attend my high school graduation, and even though he may not be able to attend my college graduation or see me graduate from medical school, he would ALWAYS be proud of me. A few days later, he was released from the hospital and taken back home.
I went back home after that, worried, but glad that he was out of the hospital. A few days before Christmas, my grandfather was taken to the emergency room. He had fallen and was terribly injured. I was not able to go up north to see him, so I was scared. My family kept me updated on his condition, and it didn't look good.
I got the news on Christmas Eve that he had passed. I cried myself to sleep that night. I couldn't believe I had lost my grandfather. I couldn't imagine a life without him. I felt so empty. It was like I had lost a part of me. I realized that there would be no more food-coloring-pancakes, no more reminiscing over pictures of family, no more talking to him about my life.
During his burial, I remembered the last words he said to me that day I visited him in the hospital: "I'm so proud of you, Heather. I love you." I promised to him that day that I would make him proud. I would graduate medical school and help people like him. I would carry on his legacy and share his inspiring journey through multiple illness.
When my coursework gets difficult and I feel like quitting, I remember him. I remember how medicine had saved him for so long. I remember how strong he was despite years of pain.
"R.M.A. - Remember me always." I will, Pop Pop. I have your Temple T-shirt in my dorm to remind me of you. I remember how excited you were that I chose Temple and how proud you were that I was going to help people like you. Losing you has been awful, but I know you're still here, cheering me on.
