I have no idea where I’m going, I have no idea when, and I have no idea why. I love what I studied in college and although towards the end, I had the pre-graduation “is this what I really want to do” worry; there was never any real doubt. I changed my major once (almost twice) before I realized that I was exactly where I wanted to be. A lot of people think that this isn’t enough until I find ‘real’ full-time employment. Well, I think you’re wrong.
I like to think that the beautiful part about my major is that a person could take what they learned and run in whichever direction they want. Social media, advertising, media, public relations-- you name it. When I first graduated I saw this as both a curse and a blessing. It took me some time until I realized that although I couldn’t decide exactly what it was that I wanted to do, there was the drawback about having so many options. All it meant was, I needed time to learn more about everything I was interested in, and how exactly I wanted to pursue this in a career. I felt like I needed to do what I wanted in each moment I was in and that’s exactly what I did.
I was embarrassed to say this for a while; that I spent four years in college and yet I was still unsure of what exactly I wanted to do. Most of my friends have ‘real’ full-time jobs. You know, the ‘9 to 5,’ business casual, commute to work everyday kind of job. Although this is what I want, and what I’m searching for now, I’m not mad or embarrassed that it is not the first type of employment I had directly after school. I have a job with an extremely understanding and awesome boss. I have a job where I learn something new almost every time we meet. I have a job that is very flexible with hours, although at certain points could require my attention while also at my part-time job. It is not a ‘9 to 5’ or a job that required me to constantly go into an office. It also may not be what many consider a typical full-time job, but it’s a job I enjoyed and it was exactly what I wanted.
In school, everyone constantly hears stories about those alumni who graduate and take the world by storm; those who just know what they want and jump right in. This definitely wasn’t me, and I know that I’m not alone. I felt bad that this wasn’t me. I had no idea how I spent all of this time pursuing a degree to only discover that I had no idea how I wanted to apply it. Then I realized that doing things my way and the experiences I’ve had along the way provided me with the focus and determination I needed to go after what I want.
Right now I want to keep working. I want to keep learning. I know what I want to do and I’m determined to find the job I’m looking for. When I say have no idea where I’m going, I don’t mean because I feel like a failure or that I have no idea what kind of job I’m looking for. It means that I can be wherever I want, whenever I want, and doing whatever I want— I have my entire future ahead of me. It means that as far as I know, today, I’m living in New Jersey, but tomorrow I could be living in the city. Today, I’m just working, but next week I could have my dream job. I don’t know where I’m going, but I’m excited to find out.
