Government Man is a series of stories loosely based on declassified CIA documents. This story uses images from The Crest Archive.

Government Man takes his job very, very seriously. He was born to serve, even conceived for it. He knows that government is the only thing protecting the public from the godless forces of anarchy, atheism and flavorful beer. He was on the job less than a week when the call came in to investigate a strange object seen in the skies of middle America.

Deep in the heartland, Government Man began to interview witnesses and gather a profile, just like his masters had trained him to do. Cross-referencing stories from dozens of people, he began to assemble a mental image of what had happened. The descriptions varied, but the common thread was that a gray, metallic object had been seen hovering near a backyard BBQ. When queried one observer held up a beverage can that he referred to as a "Silver Bullet" to demonstrate the color. Government Man noticed that hundreds of these cans littered the yard where the party had occurred. This individual then drew a picture of what he'd seen:

Government Man wasn't sure, but he thought the drawing looked familiar. Not quite able to put his finger on it, he allowed his long fallow imagination to wander. He thinks he may have seen something like this as a child. He begins to wonder if he himself may have experienced a close encounter in his childhood.

A second witness held up a strange glass object, which he called a "bong" and claimed that he saw the flying apparition after breathing through the glass device. Seemingly ravenous after his encounter, it was difficult to understand what he said as he continually stuffed corn chips in his mouth. He then sketched a simple image on a sheet of paper that he said was what the spaceship looked like:

Again, Government Man felt an irresistible pull, a tug in his mind. Something about band class in Junior High. Somehow this just seemed achingly familiar. Had something happened that he could no longer remember?

Government Man asked another spectator if the images matched with his experience, but this man was not responsive. His eyes appeared glassy and his pupils were fixed like tiny dots in the center of his eyes. When Government Man persisted, the man's face went slack and he began to shout the word "Potato" repeatedly. Suspecting that this person may have a personal encounter with the object, Government Man peppered him with questions, managing only to learn the person's date of birth, mother's maiden name, first school he attended and the name of his first pet. Eventually the man calmed down enough to add his own sketch to the growing evidence:

His mind was now on fire. These images definitely were triggering something deep in his memory. Not one to speculate, daydream or think too hard on complex subjects, Government Man regardless felt a deep connection with the people he spoke to. Perhaps this was how others felt when they too had a breakthrough. The more he considered it, the more he was absolutely certain that he had stumbled upon some very important intel.

Barely able to contain his excitement, Government Man headed back to CIA headquarters to share his findings with his superiors. He compiled a complete report and submitted it. Days passed without any acknowledgement from above, but one day at the water cooler he heard some fellow agents seriously discussing what he was sure was his report. Code words were mentioned like, "Pot Heads," "Shuttlecocks," and "Bubble Blowers." Confident that the inner circle of the department were following up, Government Man relaxed for the first time in weeks. He had done his part to keep America safe from the Aliens, Communists, or Liberals who were behind this menace.

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