A month ago, I was sitting at home around 2 o'clock in the morning after going out with friends and realized something that I never had considered before. I was unhappy with my way of living. After taking pictures of our night out, after thinking about what pictures I liked and didn't like, after thinking about which picture would be great for Instagram, I realized something. Instagram was the last thing in my life that was making me genuinely happy.
Two years ago, before my freshman year of college, I got my first iPhone, and I was ecstatic. I was so excited to be able to text other people like a normal person. I wouldn’t have to be embarrassed of my slide phone anymore, and I would be able to listen to music and surf the web on my phone. Most importantly, I would be able to have an Instagram.
After getting the phone, I immediately downloaded the app and started following friends and acquaintances. I uploaded my first picture probably an hour or two after I got the phone, and that was it. I was hooked.
I wouldn’t say that I was as addicted as other people who have the app are, I was just obsessed with the idea of it. I loved the idea of editing a photo and putting it up for people to like. I liked it even more when people automatically started liking the photo or when I got a lot of likes at the end of the day.
I loved seeing what old friends and new friends were doing; where did they go last night? What did their new school look like? Who was rushing? It was a great way to keep in touch, and it was also a great way to make new friendships.
But it got unhealthy when I constantly kept checking how many likes I was getting on photos. I would upload a photo, and after 5 minutes would check and see who liked it. I would keep on doing this, and would feel anxious if not many people were liking the photo.
I started checking other people’s pages when I was bored or when waiting for a class; I would compare likes and would wonder how they were able to get so many. The worst part was when I started taking pictures that I didn’t really like, but I thought that other people would like.
I knew that this wasn’t healthy. I knew that I was wasting time wondering what others were doing on Instagram. I also knew that I shouldn’t believe everything I saw in a photograph, but I did.
After a year of having an Instagram, I started using it less, but I still wanted to know how many people were liking my photos and if I was getting new followers. I probably wouldn’t post pictures every week but I was on the app every day. Checking.
Last month I realized that the girl I’ve become, one that evaluates her self-esteem through the approval of others, or one that takes a certain picture just so that it gets a lot of likes isn’t who I am. Before I got an iPhone I was so happy with who I was. I saw myself as beautiful, smart, and talented. After having the app, I allowed myself to believe that people didn’t like me or approve of who I was just because of the amount of likes I received. I was more self-conscious and would even delete pictures if people didn’t like them.
Having an Instagram was also ruining my idea of photography. As a pre-photo major and avid photographer, Instagram was changing the importance of quality photos. I was always an artistic person who was trying to find new ways of taking a photograph that no one had ever thought of, and Instagram was just making me as "basic" as anyone else with the app. I was just doing whatever everyone else was doing, not taking the time to really take photos as a hobby and a factor of my happiness.
Deleting Instagram was the best thing I could have done for myself. It set me free from the followers and likes, it made me realize that I am my own person and that I shouldn’t care about what others think about me.
It also wasn't a hard thing to do. Right after I deleted the app I was really worried that I would download it the next day, or maybe a week from then. The next day I didn't even think about Instagram, I didn't think about checking it or posting a picture. The only time I remembered that I used to have one was when someone told me to look at a picture, or if they asked why I hadn't been posting.
A month later I've realized that social media isn't exactly a huge factor in life. It does help us stay connected with others and it does make things easier, but it isn't necessary or vital towards the way we make decisions or conduct our way of living. I think that everyone should take some time in their lives to see how much they use social media, and if it really is worth it.
