The hardest goodbyes are having to say it but still seeing that person every day. I say goodbye because they are no longer the person that they used to be. They are growing and living life without you. They are advancing in their world and you seem to be left behind in the last fun encounter together. They never say exactly that they are breaking up or moving on, so you subtly must take hint after hint. Less time together. More time wherever. Less laughter. More new friends. Less engagement. More invisibility.

The hardest goodbyes are the ones you’re forced to make. You really don’t want to but you need to. It’s time to let them live a little. If you had it your way, you’d be with them always. But they don’t seem to mind the transition into the new life. They don’t cry when they haven’t heard from you anymore like they used to. They only hit you up when they have a little bit of spare time for you but for some reason you’re always wanting them when its least convenient for them.

The hardest goodbyes are the ones that don’t make any sense. You want to voice your opinion and your feelings, but you just can’t. It just seems so stupid. You suck up your feelings and blame yourself for being so selfish and jealous all the time. Get a grip. But your feelings are easily confirmed day after day, being pushed away. When you say something, they don’t understand. They won’t understand. They blame you for being needy. They encourage you to spend time getting involved in other things. They encourage you to meet new people. It leaves you confused and out of options.

The hardest goodbyes are the ones that go to the ones you love the most. The love doesn’t seem the same anymore. The attention dwindles. The happiness level is unequal. You would do anything to go back in time and fix what went wrong. You feel the same about them since you first met which is sad because you aren’t receiving the same love back. You don’t feel the spark anymore. But love never gives up. Love is complicated and love is worth fighting for so you keep your head up high. Buy them little gifts here and there. Show some “random” acts of appreciation, when in reality it’s just a cry for help. I’m still here. Sickening.

The hardest goodbyes are the ones that were preventable. Was there something more they needed? Maybe you being under them 24/7 caused them to needs some separation. Who knows. There were subtle hints but no real communication. Confusion turns to sadness. Sadness turns to anger. Anger turns to sadness. Then there are those times where you do get to have time with them, so you assume everything is better. See, you were getting upset about nothing. Good thing you didn’t bother to say anything. Here again, you are, wondering why you feel so lost without them. Endless cycle.