Saying goodbye to Paul Ryan is a troubling and confusing thing to do. He has been around for me since he joined Mitt Romney's ticket back in 2012, and was thankfully smashed by Obama and Biden, the super friend duo of Washington. I was introduced to Ryan as I was introduced to Romney; rich white people who have had a fortunate run of life, and don't seem too crazy or gray to put their name in the hat for President. Now, call me cocky but in 2012 I was certain they were not going to win. I knew Obama had the black vote, and once Romney said that unbelievable stuff about "47 percent of America" I knew we were safe. I thought that was the damage Ryan would cause, and that's all. He would be complicit to one of the rudest most out of touch things a presidential candidate would say in my lifetime. I was wrong.

No one saw Trump coming, really. If they say they do, they are lying to sound informed and interesting, don't buy it for a second. Rather than focus on Trump and his mess like the collective United States seems to do, I want to say something about Ryan, and give him my goodbye, as he has decided to retire at the ripe political age of 48. A young age, really. Especially for a congressmen. There are congress members in their 80's after all. Ryan is ending his tenure in 2019, and will not seek reelection. Goodbye Ryan, and good riddance.

I can't say I truly hate you, Pauly boy, but boy do you make me uncomfy. You are like the uncle at the cook-out saying awful stuff I can't imagine agreeing with, and getting louder with every hour that goes by. You are the one who name drops their church, slyly implying that it is just a bit more holy than the one most of the family goes to. Even worse, you aren't the racist uncle, really. Or at least not the racist uncle that wasn't invited to the cook out due to last years alcoholic outburst, but you don't denounce him either. When you work with him, you say that neutral and infuriating cop out stuff about how "he is allowed his points" while not commenting on them yourself. Sure, Pauly, Trump and yourself can have your own points. However when you say you are grateful for Trump, it will raise some eyebrows.It will break some hearts too man, really. Who is supposed to be normal in the GOP these days?

I have watched you dismantle as many things set in place to eliminate social assistance to the poor as possible. I have seen you quietly post your thoughts on neo-nazis on Facebook while Trump was refusing to damn them on television. I saw that all white intern hire too, whew. That was awkward. I watched you pass tax laws that benefit essentially only your tax bracket. I watched your bug eyes push farther and farther out of your head by Trump's bull over the past year, and I worried. I worried you were going use him to get more done, and I guess you did.

I watched Cameron resign right after Brexit and thought "Wow, they made such a bad call the leader feels unable to continue taking part of the country. Holy cow." And I never thought I would see that here. I never thought Trump was capable of admitting he was unable to do his job, and I still doubt that. I never even thought of you, Pauly, but here we are. What do you know? What is coming buddy? Why are you getting out when the getting out is good? You gonna run in 2020? I wouldn't put it past you. I don't know what will be destroyed by the tax plan you put through, but I am worried. I don't know exactly how to feel with you retiring. I am not proud of you, I honestly don't think of you much. I think you're weak, Pauly. I don't care how often you work out.

I know you are connected, and I know your day is a storm of trying to get as much of your own policy through the kindergarten playpen of racism and entitlement that is Trump. I can't seem to bring myself to see you as anything but a quiet affiliate of his, running off when his storm gets to be too much and praising his ability to say yes to the hurtful classist policies you have backed your entire career. I feel like you cuddle your free weights at night and mutter to yourself "at least we appointed a Supreme Justice." Well, you did. You denied Obama his clear Presidential right (well the senate did but you get my drift) and now you are exploiting all you can while dealing with how integrally horrid Trump is. I guess I would quit too.

I don't respect you Pauly, but I can't be too happy about you leaving. I don't know what comes after Trump, after you, after any of this. Just get the hell out of my Congress, and get ready to get smashed in the mid terms.

Go vote. If you read this far, you probably care also. Go vote. Shake Pauly harder than he is already, and stop the orange giggly fat man in the White House. Thank you.