Dear Love,

When I was a little girl, I only thought of you in terms of my family. My parents loved me. My grandparents loved me. My aunts and uncles loved me. As I grew older, the concept grew. My parents loved each other. They loved each other so much that they wanted to spend their lives together. I grew up watching a marriage that prospered because my parents worked together. There was not one above the other. I learned that I should expect that same when it came time from my husband in the future.

I dated a lot my freshman year of high school. I bounced from boyfriend to boyfriend because that was the thing to do. I was never in a relationship for more than a month. I was trying to feel something. Trying to recreate what I saw in my parents. My parents went through some of the toughest times yet they never fell apart. I craved that so desperately even at 14. I wanted to find you in someone that would understand me as I battled depression, anxiety, and every other mix of emotions that came with being a freshman in high school.

My first real and true love came when I was 16. I was a junior in high school. We were only together for 7 months. But I loved him with all of my heart. I will never forget the day that the relationship ended and I literally felt my heart break. I was physically sick from it. And I don't think you were ever the same for me after that. I think that you had left a bitter taste in my mouth. I spent the next three years trying to recreate that feeling that I had with one night stands, hookups, and relationships that went nowhere yet I still managed to keep looking. Still managed to try and have that feeling again.

I fell hard for someone about two years ago. I had met him in high school and we see each other every time he comes home on leave. I have expressed these feelings to him yet he did not feel the same. I had that same bitter taste in my mouth. The same one I was left with when my first love ended our relationship. Yet, I still see him every time he is home. I still talk to him. I still want what he can't give to me. And every day it kills me a little bit more inside.

I have been told by society that in order to feel happy, I needed you. I need to be in a relationship with someone. I need to be talking to someone. I am finally learning that I do not need a man to be happy. I do not need you. There are several things in life that I need but you are not one of them. I can be happy and content being by myself and with my family.

You are not a necessity. I have come to terms with the fact that the right man will walk into my life when I least expect it and that is when you will be welcome. You don't govern my life and I am okay with that. Until then, please make others happy. Because sadly, you are not the one I want right now.

Sincerely,

Someone who is happy being single