Cheese,

This is goodbye. As much as this pains me, I must leave. We're not good for each other anymore. Not in the way we used to be, anyway. Don't get me wrong--we can still be friends. We've been close for a long time and I don't want to lose all of what we had. Just most of it.

I know this hurts. It hurts me, too. More than you know. But it has to be done.

The physical ramifications of my love for you were too much. I can no longer handle the stomach cramps or the nausea. And all of this is because of me. I've put this off for a long time because I couldn't accept it--I didn't want anything to change. I wanted to keep basking in the splendor of your meltiness and the luster of your processed texture. I wanted to ignore all of the bad for the sake of the good.

But then we took a break and I realized how horrible my circumstances were. I felt better. More full of life. I wasn't bogged down by your creamy consistency. I found a new love. A cheese that I can tolerate. Feta.

I'm happier now. Not as bloated. I'm sure you can understand. Plus, millions of people still love you. I know it doesn't take away the pain of our separation, but it should help.

Just know that you will always hold a special place in my heart (but not my stomach.)

Signed,

The Person That Is Finally Coming to Terms with Her Lactose Intolerance