Here I am: sitting in a half empty room wondering how eighteen years worth of crap is going to fit in my mom’s Ford Edge. I’ve read every article, scanned Pinterest till my fingers bled and probably bought out Bed Bath and Beyond. Yet I still feel unprepared and terrified that it’ll all go wrong. That I’ll walk into the wrong classroom, buy the wrong $300 book and I’ll end up eating alone at lunch. I didn’t think that after four years I’d be back to where I started, a little fish in a big pond.
Even after all this preparation how could anyone truly feel prepared for one of the greatest adventures of all. College. We’ve all been waiting so long for the day to arrive, but as it creeps closer all I want is for time to stand still. Capture the last moments I have in the town I couldn’t wait to leave and the friends I’ve been through it all with. Wanting to hold on and learning to let go have been the hardest part of an experience I’ve barely had a taste of. This month alone I’ve tried to make every memory count and think about what I’m leaving behind.
In the hustle and bustle of cleaning the room I won’t be sleeping in, working and trying to have a social life I know that I’ll remember the small moments when I’m homesick. It’s not the trips I took or the things I did with my friends that I’ll miss, it’ll be the small, mundane activities; the little quirks that make them unique, the moments we’ve shared over a lifetime and the song’s that became “ours.” Sure I’ll have the pictures to remember all the adventures but they can’t compare to the real deal. The memories that can’t be captured in photos seem to be the ones people wish to keep forever. Pictures may be worth a thousand words, but there aren’t enough of them for this momentous transition.
Moving from childhood into the beginning of being an adult has been the most difficult challenge I’ve had to endure; especially when everyone thinks I’m 12. Taking the reins of my life into my own hands once and for all sounds fun, until I’m stuck making real decisions alone. But I guess that’s all part of growing up.
I've chosen my classes, made the piles and started packing but the challenge is yet to start. It’s not until I’m there, settled down and classes begin; that is when college starts. That is the day life truly changes. The days before that are like the moment before you jump into the pool, or the trial period of Netflix; you’re there but you haven’t experienced it yet, not fully. It’s until that day that you still wonder, if you have the right $300 book and if you’re going to walk into the right classroom.
