I have grown up in the same city my entire life with the exception of eight months last year when I was doing an internship out of state. I went to kindergarten, grade school, middle school, high school, and college all in within 10 miles of each other. I still go to school with people I have known since I was a child. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but in some ways, it can hinder you from growing into who you really are.
The reasons why I'm ready to move on from this city are not solely because I want to see a new place and have more freedom. Unfortunately, that's what many adults think when kids move away—that they just want to go somewhere to mess around and not have their parents being in their business. That may be the case for some people but when it comes down to it, moving away from your hometown is a necessity. I'm not saying by any means to leave and never come back, but everyone needs to get out for some period of time, whether it be a short or long time, depending on who you are and what you want to do.
Last week, I received this advice from an older man that works at the organization where I am interning. We were waiting for an event to be over and he started telling me about his life, as many older people do, but I actually love to hear to people's stories so I didn't mind.
He told me about how when he was in college, he was only there to play football and had no interest in his studies. He had chosen to go to a local college because it was easy to stay close to home. When he had a problem, he could run home to his parents and get it solved. Many of his friends, who also stayed in the area and had known his whole life, were not attending college and were not involved in any constructive activities, but rather more destructive activities. He realized then that he did not want to be a part of that crowd because they were starting to reflect themselves onto him. He told me that it is inevitable that who you are friends with reflect how other people see you. If you stay in the same area your entire life, you likely know a considerable amount of people in the town and they will likely have the same view of you and the people you associated yourself with for the entire time they have known you, or for at least a very long time.
He said when someone moves away, often times it is to go to school or to find a job. People don't always move to places where they already know someone. So when you do move to a place and start from scratch, you are able to focus more on the purpose for which you came to that place because you don't have a group of friends distracting you from trying to do things for yourself. Of course, everyone needs a good group of friends, but it is also a good thing to spend time by yourself so that you can figure out what you need to do to be successful.
Another advantage to moving away is that it completely forces you to learn things all on your own. First, you learn how to make judgments about people. When you get thrown into a new place and you don't know anyone, you are faced with having to figure out who is going to bring you up and who is going to bring you down. You won't figure this out right away and you will probably judge some people the wrong way at first, but you'll figure it out and hopefully come out with some really great new friends in the end.
Second, you learn that your parents can't tell you what to do or help you out every time you need something. The longer you rely on someone else to solve your problems, the worse you are going to be at being self-sufficient later down the road. No parent wants to see their child struggling with anything, but there has to be a point in time when they can no longer make our decisions for us.
My final word about moving away from your hometown is that ultimately it gives you a different perspective of how other people live. Again, I have only so far in my life experienced eight months away from home and to be honest, I did not get homesick. Of course, I missed my family and friends but I knew I was doing something great for myself and you can't expect all of those people to live within 10 miles of you for your whole life. The good thing is that if you do move away, your hometown will always be there and while hopefully it progresses with time, the heart of it never changes what it was and you can always call it home. That way, if/when you do come back, you can be one of those people who contribute something positive with your newly learned perspectives.
