So a friend asked me a question the other day that got me thinking. She asked me, “What’s your type? Are you into good guys or bad boys?” I didn’t really know how to answer that question. Was it ever that simple? Were boys “good” or “bad”? I understood the premise of what she meant. It's the stereotypes we see in media all the time. Only it seems that those stereotypes can be very different in real life.

That is why good guys scare me more than bad boys. Okay, I know what your thinking: Is it opposite day? Is she crazy? Is that a metaphor? No, no, and definitely not. It’s just a fact. Good guys scare me more than bad boys. The thing with bad boys is that you know exactly what to expect: heartbreak. You know that their goal really is just to have a good time and move on.

Now I know we all want to believe that underneath every bad boy there is some sensitive, dark poet waiting to be found. We hope that they’ll turn out to be like Heath Ledger in 10 Things I Hate About You. The kind of bad boy that just needs the right girl to break him out of his cycle. We all want to be that girl. NEWSFLASH: None of us are that girl because those boys aren’t the real bad boys in this world. The true “bad boys” are the boys who don’t want to change and therefore can’t be changed. They have one goal: to get what they want and then leave you in the dust. It sucks, but at least it’s dependable. You know exactly what to expect, and you know exactly how to soften the blow. You’re a trained professional.

However the nice guys aka, the “good” guys. That’s a whole other story. Unpredictable. You could find the perfect guy with the perfect happy ending, or you could have your heart broken for real. Because this time you weren’t expecting it. The world doesn’t root for true love, and it will push to break you apart. You will fight, and he will fight for what you have but sometimes it won’t be enough.

But sometimes you’ll find someone who compliments you flawlessly. Someone you can imagine being by your side every day for the rest of your life. Someone who makes you excited to pursue the future. They’ll make you laugh, and you’ll do the same for them. And then they’ll smile, such a genuine smile that you’ll remember forever. It’s a moment that you try so hard to take a mental photograph of because you’ve never felt so inspired. The sunlight comes through the curtains and rests on their face as they take your hand in theirs. Their eyes light up as they smile, and it’s a smile that happens so few times because in that moment nothing matters and they are truly happy. And that is when you know that you want nothing else but to make sure they are that happy all of the time.

But sometimes even that perfect person can’t make you 100% sure of the future. Sometimes your past keeps you so paralyzed and afraid of what could be. Because sometimes the “good guy” can change, he can make mistakes. Take Jaime from The Last 5 Years. He starts as the perfect “good guy”. He had so many dreams and goals, and he was so in love with Cathy. He would do anything for her, and he was prepared to spend his whole life with her. But then one day he decided that’s not what he wanted anymore and he cheated on her, after promising the rest of his life to her.

Where does that leave us? Right back to where we started. I’m sitting here writing what every girl deals with in today’s society. I am lucky enough to care about someone, a lot. He’s a good guy, in fact, he’s an amazing guy. He’s the kind of someone who makes me excited to grow as a person. He sees the best in me, and he makes me see the best in myself. Yet here I am. Sitting here and projecting everything I see and hear about relationships onto the idea of him. What else am I supposed to do? I can’t blindly trust just anyone anymore, I am so far past that point. But I care too much about him to forget about him completely.

So we do what we have to do. We take risks. We put our own heart on the line, and know that it could break at any time. But we also know that we cannot live in fear forever. If we do then we’ll never get to see that genuine smile, we’ll never get to feel that sunlight on our faces, and we’ll never get to know the warmth that comes with love. Nothing worth having will ever be certain, but that is okay. Because sometimes the biggest risks have the most amazing outcomes. Sometime’s you find the perfect person in someone you over-looked. Sometime’s the “good guy” is sitting right behind you, and you just have to take a moment to notice him. Maybe you have to become vulnerable, and really put yourself out there to form something special. But in the end, you could find the person who changes you forever. The person who makes you realize it’s okay to change and grow into the person you are meant to be.