When was the last time you stopped for a period of silence and thought about what kind of friends you have? What comes to your mind when you envision a genuine friend? What are genuine friends for, anyway? For the record, I am not advocating a self-centered approach to relationships. I'll explain for one simple reason. What makes for an enriching friendship (which is a two-way street, by the way) is not about your preferences or their preferences.
Preferences are things that you like but that don't have any particular moral significance or implications in themselves. These are things like sports, shopping stores, game stations, and types of food (barring health concerns), just to name a few. On the other hand, by someone who enriches you, I simply mean someone who adds truly good things to your life and causes it to be better as a result.
It can be hard to find genuine friendships these days for a couple of reasons. First, some people may not have enough time to commit to investing in you. Moreover, some may not be organized in how they spend their time and hence might (mistakenly) think they don't have time for you.
Second, some people may just not be interested in the same activities or hobbies as you are. This can be a lesser or greater problem depending on your personality. If you're essentially introverted, more chill, and partial to spending more time alone than with others, it might not bother you as much. However, this can be very frustrating if you thrive when you are around people frequently.
Third, you might have deep trust issues that have gone unresolved for a while. I know personally what that feels like. I still have trust issues from time to time, but the walls have steadily and gradually come down over the past year or so. One big reason for that is because of God placing certain people in my life who have loved me without end. These are people who I have personally confided in about my struggles and who I can be genuinely honest with.
Fourth, you might feel that people are just naive and don't get it when it comes to things you have gone through. This frustration might have gotten worse when you found certain people to be generally uninformed about those issues and thus unable to give wise insight or feedback about your situation.
The bottom line is that everyone needs a friend or multiple friends who can enrich their life and whose lives they can enrich as well. These are just some examples of people who truly enrich your life:
1. People who make you laugh heartily.
2. People who challenge your thinking and what you believe.
3. People who know when to listen and when to give insight or feedback.
4. People who pray regularly for you.
5. People who will sacrifice their sleep for you.
6. People who inspire you to pursue your God-given potential.
I could go on and on, but I think this is a good place to start. I think these are good ways to look for real, genuine friendships. The follow-up question is (obviously): will you do those same things you need from others?
