It’s time to say good bye to the four months of the year that I get to choose what I want to do. The heavens are my limit on my plans, the whole world is calling my name, and I got to answer that call and respond to my greatest desires and wanderlust but now is the time to deal with the reality of school. This summer is ending for me and I realize that this truly is good bye; at least as far as I am aware this is my last summer break. I am going to be a senior in college and after I graduate adulthood ensues and I no longer get four months of freedom every single year. This is my ode to this summer and summers past, they have gifted me great and many things throughout my life time.

Through the years I was able to find solace in knowing that even though I was entrenched in homework or the pits of never ending cycles that summer was only a few months away, it was only a few short classes away, and towards May it became a short hour count down.

I found rest and rejuvenation through the months of down time, whether that was Netflix or day trips with my precious friendships. Hand in hand it gave me energy with the same proportion of exhaustion. It bore all but also let me hide away.

It gave me dreams and dug up forgotten passions. It gave me sharp reality and unhindered glimpses of the future. It gave me true friends that will last ages and took away the ones that I found never really planned on sticking around.

I sit here in anticipation for the day that I get to go into my school and find new knowledge but also in agony as I hold tight to my very last days of summer. I worked almost every summer but at least I knew that I could then hide in school and work less. I always thought I was ready but as good byes come around I know that I am just as scared as I am excited.

Anxiety starts to fill my fingers and makes my arms quiver. I sit and breath in and out hoping for it to flush away. I start to think of things that make me happy—puppies, flowers, friends, family, and summer… I feel the anxious pricks start to disintegrate. Memories of late nights and early mornings flood my brain and instantly I do not feel resentment but instantly feel great nostalgia. I no longer feel worrisome but feel appreciative. Summer breaks are ending but those memories won’t leave with it. I will soon forget about having summer breaks but until then I will hold tight to those memories and freedoms of yesteryears.

Thank you summer for giving me things that money can’t buy and for people I would have never met because of where you took me. I go into this year excited for what the future holds and what season I will encounter. I also go into this year saying good bye to a great season knowing that maybe this isn’t actually good bye but a see you later; because that hurts less and gives me hope for what I may encounter next.