As the freshmen filter in to their first year of college, fiddling with their student id's, wide-eyed and anxious, I think back to my first year of college. So much has changed. And I am so glad. It may be fun in some ways being the "baby" on campus as it gives you an excuse to maybe not be on your A-game at all times, and some lenience as you adjust to a more independent lifestyle. But there is one thing, as I reflect on my experiences and the stories I have heard from adults and peers, that is simply incomparable to all other freshman shortfalls. It's having a "bad" roommate experience. Now, I did not have a terrible roommate experience, but I do have some insight into coexisting in a living space where the do's and don'ts and comfort zones are not clear. My current roommate and I, as I did switch during my freshman year, were quick to go over our "roommate agreement" to define clearly our own needs and preferences.
So, without further ado, here are some lessons learned from not hitting the target with the first round of roommates freshman year:
1.) Random roommates can work out extremely well, or just...not. Either way you learn a lot and meet people from out of your normal circle.
2.) Rooming with a good friend, or dare I say...best friend...is not always the best long-term living arrangement.
3.) It's an excellent communication lesson! When you live in a small enclosed space with someone who is wired differently emotionally, physically, mentally, and/or socially, you are forced to develop your communication skills. Or you can avoid that...but I wouldn't suggest avoiding the issues.
4.) You find out what you need from a roommate, and also what you prefer. You may not have known how much late night jam sessions and leaving the lights on bothered you until you were in those situations. You may not have known how important talking, or silence is on the weekend when you have some down time. And you may never have known how much mess in the room you could handle, or how many people...
5.) It builds character! Confidence, new skills, heightened awareness, mindfulness, sarcasm, sass...these things are all brought out in early adulthood and especially when living with someone extremely different from yourself.
6.) You get some good stories...
The list goes on, but please remember (especially you precious little freshman babies) that it isn't the end of the world if you don't hit it off with your first roommate. Take advantage of the lessons in each and every awkward encounter, late night sex-ile, rotten milk left out on your desk, and being locked out of your room in a towel when the entire football team happens to be walking through your hallway at that precise moment.
*sigh*
