According to Wikipedia, a midlife crisis is defined as, "...a transition of identity and self-confidence that can occur in middle aged individuals" Usually, there are various factors that causes this (the crisis) including:
.Physical changes to the mind and body
.Children aging/lack of children
.Confusion/anxiety about their future
.Having the urge to go on unplanned adventures
Although I'm still youthful (despite my sister reminding me on my birthday that I am halfway to forty), and have not yet entered the realm of "adulthood", I've begun to start questioning my life. To be even more specific, the choices I have made in my college life. These decisions involve my major, life after graduation, and following my heart. My family members and friends constantly remind me that I need to live in the present, rather than strategizing my life goals five years from now. I'm elated that I don't have to be apprehensive at the moment about my spouse, child(ren), or even my financial status. However, I can't help thinking about the events of tomorrow, next week, next month, etc. I too am going through a crisis. A college midlife crisis.
A couple of weeks ago, I went to a party with some people and caught up with one of my guy friends. During our conversation involving random topics, he asked me casually, "Where do you see yourself in ten years?"I chuckled at the ridiculousness of the question, and avoided saying anything. The truth was, I didn't have an answer. College was supposed to be a massive adventure, that eventually ended with a diploma after four years. At least that's what I assumed as a freshman. However that was not the case. I went from wanting to major in journalism to creative writing, theater, and even film. However, I came to a realization that I loved literature, and volunteering my time with children. It was during the second semester of my sophomore year that I temporarily found the gold at the end of the rainbow. I declared myself as an English major with a concentration in elementary education. All of the puzzle pieces seemed to be coming together. Or, so I had supposed.
Beginning of junior year, I started writing for the Muhlenberg Odyssey. I assumed that it would be a side hobby from the various organizations I participated in, but that was not the case. Odyssey became more than a way to express myself through a creative outlet. It became a devoted passion. Suddenly, I could see imaginary doors opening in front of me, leading to future writing careers. However, I was anxious to ponder about such an idea. A writing career? I had envisioned myself sitting at a wooden desk with a shimmering apple in front of me, and a classroom with twenty children waiting for me to announce today's lesson. My heart had reached a fork in the road. Where to go from here?
My parents have been the greatest life coaches in assisting me with my midlife college struggle. They have always assured me that there are multiple ways to get to the same path, and that finding joy in what you love will lead you to a lifetime of happiness. I'm still unsure what I'll be doing and where I will be years later, but I know it will be somewhere amazing where I've discovered my moxie. It might not be perfect at first, but who is to say that anything in our life is perfect? My mom has always assured me that you don't always need to know what you want to pursue after college, and that it may take time a few tries for your heart to find your career devotion.
To those who are wandering, attempting to find that closure with the future, just remember to try every opportunity life presents you with, and enjoy the ride. You'll eventually grasp the steering wheel and use your heart as a GPS. Even if you take the route less traveled, have an amazing adventure. I'm still trying to decide which route will lead me to my destination, and that's OK.
Having a college midlife crisis may seem frustrating/frightening, but it's perfectly normal no matter what anyone tells you. Enjoy the journey, and appreciate every moment.
