"Distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. It's for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It's for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don't see it nearly enough..."
- Author Unknown
I’m not going to lie to you. When I found out there was a chance my relationship with my boyfriend, of now two years, would have to be spent across a distance at times; I freaked out.
Why did I have to say “freak out”? Why does anyone?
Because it is what we are conditioned to feel. The funny thing about life, I’ve found, is that reality is often different from our preconceived notions.
Life and love rarely happen in the exact way we want them to. It’s never like the movies, but you already knew that. Relationships are one of those critical situations where people believe it has to be in the right place at the right time to work out. But I’m here to tell you that it doesn’t.
1. You’ll hear from literally everyone how hard it is to make long distance work.
While you may hear from those around you about how hard it is to make a relationship work hours apart, you won't know exactly what it will be like for you and your partner until you are actually away from one another. Think of it as a trial and error.
Many people believe that relationships don’t work across long distance, especially when going off to college, because you are going to eventually change, get distracted and realize that the relationship just isn't worth the effort if you hardly ever see them.
While this might be the case for some couples, you can never predict how you will change from experiences until you are living them. You could change and grow together; you really never know.
2. It’s all in the effort.
You probably know by now, that nothing in life comes without hard work. Nothing worth keeping and holding onto, that is. The same goes for your relationship. If you’ve made it over the doubting stage, you’re probably wondering how will you make it work?
This is the hardest part. This is the part where our generation sometimes falls short. We are constantly distracted by this idea of how relationships should be and what the ideal relationship should look like via social media. But, your relationship will not be perfect, and if you want it to last you better be prepared to work your butt off. Literally.
It’s going to take dedication on both parts. You will probably have to Facetime at two in the morning because you both have no other time to do it, make phone calls at the most random times like when you are walking to and from the gym just to be able to hear their voice and last but certainly not least...make sure that person knows how much they mean to you.
Always make sure they know that you are still in this relationship for a reason, and that you are making an effort even while away to keep the relationship afloat.
3. It’s different for everyone.
The above statement couldn’t be more true. On the flip side, there are a few universal truths that do stand true.
If you are choosing to go away for school from your partner, you did that to better yourself. You are all the more independent, strong and wise for it. You are able to have a life separate from your partner, so that when you come together you have two individual people making a great relationship even better.
You are able to explore who you are and where you want to be all while having the support from your significant other. You are able to form your own path, and if it leads you away from one another, that’s okay. But, if you believe that it will work out and do everything in your power to make sure it does, it will. It really is as simple as that.
4. So...why give up before you have even begun?
Our generation tries to complicate everything, but relationships are actually quite simple. Find someone who uplifts you, inspires you and truly honors you in every way, shape and form. Sure there will be disappointments, arguments and doubt. That’s life. But if at the end the end of the day you know that it’s worth the fight, that is your decision to make.
I'm not trying to convince you that long distance relationships are for everyone, because they are not. You'll know for yourself if it's an option for you. However, going the distance starts with your determination to fully see the relationship through. Only you can decide the outcome. Your relationship is not a product of your situation, but a result of you simply wanting it THAT much.
