"How'd you meet your boyfriend?"
"One day, we passed each other in the hallway at school. Our eyes met, and it was love at first sight..."
Yeah, yeah, we get it. High school sweethearts can sometimes be disgusting quite honestly. Students and faculty have absolutely no interest in witnessing any kind of PDA from those clingy couples. It's almost as if they're attached to one another and physically can't let go. No. One. Wants. To. See. That. Get a room.
Now, if you're like me, you've never had this problem at school. I met my boyfriend at church, and we began dating my freshman year. My boyfriend, Xavier, is a year older than me, which meant it was his sophomore year. He went to public school, whereas I attended a very small Christian school.
The first year of the relationship was tough simply because neither of us could drive. I didn't see him at school, and I saw him at church two times a week. If we wanted to hang out any other time, our parents would have to drive us.
Eventually, he got his license. We saw each other a lot more after that, but it was still outside of school. Xavier graduated in 2017, and he now attends Auburn University. From where I live right now, that's three hours away. "HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY MAKE THAT WORK? You're still in high school!" Yes, yes I am. However, we make it work because we have this thing called commitment.
The transition from Xavier being in high school to him being in college was a little rocky, but it's not like I was accustomed to seeing him all the time. The time we spent together cut down from weekdays after school and weekends to just the weekends when he came home. That was tough on me, but it made us appreciate our time together so much more.
I'll be attending Jacksonville State University in the fall, which is two hours from Auburn. It's an improvement, but it's still a long drive. Xavier and I will continue our relationship despite the distance.
Why? I don't want anyone else.
I love this quote by Emily Bronte, the author of Wuthering Heights: "Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.” Xavier and I share the same passions, and we both serve a mighty God who brought us together when we least expected it. Why would I ever give up on something so incredible, especially when so much time has been invested?
Someone might wonder, "What's the point of dating someone if you don't get to see them much?" Don't get me wrong-- quality time is important. However, I choose quality over quantity. Xavier is one of a kind, and I don't mind only seeing him only on weekends during the school year as long as I can call him mine.
Attending different schools has really helped our relationship in many aspects. When he left for Auburn, it wasn't like my world was crashing down. I was already accustomed to seeing him sometimes, not all the time. Our communication has improved tremendously over the years. We choose to focus on the positives rather than dwell on the negatives. We've learned how important trust is, especially with going to different schools.
Most importantly, going to different schools allowed us to establish our own personal identities. We weren't known as "that clingy couple at school."
I was Madison, and he was Xavier.
So many couples tend to lose their individual identities and develop a joint identity. Never allow yourself and your significant other to develop a joint identity-- your individual identity is far too valuable. I've really grown as a person over the last four years, and it's because I established my own personal identity.
Xavier has been with me every step of the way, and I'm so grateful for him. Our relationship is solid because we choose to embrace the challenges of attending different schools. That's what you do when you love someone - you never give up, no matter what the circumstance is.