Here's the problem, my parents raised a very extroverted, independent woman who has a bad habit of isolating myself on random days, I feel like I can do everything on my own. Wrong. This is why I fail at having healthy relationships, whether that be with family, friends, etc.

I truly am afraid of getting hurt, so I keep my heart locked up. I'm writing about this because I know so many others who struggle with this problem as well.

I crave real, godly relationships probably more than I crave mint ice cream (my favorite). I've wanted that deep longing for someone I can count on for so long.

My squad definitely looks different now.

I want to find girls that I can encourage and be encouraged by. I want a group of girls that want to live for a bigger purpose.

God placed a need for relationships in us, on purpose. We have the ability to have those relationships that we crave. But first, we have to purify our tainted way. We have to let go of fear and embrace the love.

Friendship is a rare and precious gift. You can know hundreds of people, but you'd be lucky if you had two real friends. We tend to become like our friends, we adopt their attitudes, interests, maybe even style. If this is the case then how important is it to choose our friends wisely? What do we want in our friends?

Proverbs 13:20.

Freshman year of college, I felt lonely a lot of times. I had just graduated from OSUT and spent the past six months with my best friends. The best feeling after a long day in the field is having a rant session only to realize that you aren't alone. They were my true godly friends, they lifted me up when I felt down, and when I was having rough days they'd pick up the slack I left behind... the relationships I had with them didn't drain me, they sustained me. I had never had a group of girl friends who would PRAY with and for me. It was truly an amazing feeling. (Shoutout: Bradford, Rosario, Juarez, Annon, and Talavera).

God purposely put these woman in my life to sharpen me and mold me into the woman God has called me to be. A lot of people say they didn't change at basic/ait, but because of these woman... I did.

God doesn't want us to have friendships to fill our time with. He wants us to have spiritually nourishing relationships. How do we go about that? Jesus made himself our friend to the highest degree of love possible at the cross. We seek to follow and obey him, we should be a genuine friend to others when we lay down our life like Jesus did for us. But what does that look like?

All I can say is a sweet friendship refreshes the soul! A real friendship in a world full of likes and followers. A real friend shares the same truth, goes the extra mile, listens, can say the real truth,and celebrates rather than compares. This is especially so hard to find godly friends in the competitive environment I'm in. Would my friends wash my feet during my lowest season like I would for them?

John 13:14

This semester the sweetest soul walked into PT on the first day of school, Caitlyn. She just so happened to be added into my Platoon (Thank you God for placing her in my PLT.) I don't remember how we started talking or hanging out, it just happened. We ended up working at an after school tennis program together, making tik toks, and doing bible studies together. I told Caitlyn I've struggled recently with my Christianity and I just feel disconnected. She confided in me how she felt as well, and it was refreshing. She's the Godly friend I've been needing and I am so thankful for her and our friendship.

Eek! Did I mention we're living together next year?!

All in all, I think we all need to be more intentional. Tell our friends we want a closer, godly relationship. You want more of their trust or for them to be there for you? We should tell them. Call them, blow their phone up with gifs, study together. Make your intentions clear.

Cait, thanks for filling my life with joy and my heart with love.

"If you're lonely, recognize that feeling as a hunger pain for more of Christ, and go get fed."

1 Peter 5:7

xoxo.