This is not where I dreamt I would be. This isn’t my dream school or dream city. But, this is where I am supposed to be. This is where God has brought me to earn my education and to prepare me for the next step in my life. But lately, I don’t understand my purpose here. Why I feel more disconnected than I should. Lately, I’ve questioned what I’m doing here. I know I am supposed to be here, and I know that I have a purpose here, but I’m wondering what that purpose is. Questioning why I don’t feel like I’m fulfilling that purpose, I don’t feel my gifts, what I have to offer is being used.
I don’t feel like I’m thriving, but more so slowly dying. I’m lonely, more often than I’ll openly admit. I have this desire for a deep connection, for where I am at to feel more like home. Do I just need more time to adjust? Why can’t I see God’s purpose for me here? As confusing and conflicting as these thoughts may be, I know that it’s okay. It’s ok to ask these questions and have these thoughts because that means I am searching. I am searching for my life to have a deeper meaning. I am searching for ways that God is using me, searching to be actively fulfilling my purpose.
But, sometimes God doesn’t reveal His plans. He doesn’t broadcast how He is going to use you daily or the reasoning’s to why He is placing you at a specific school, town, or job. God’s reply to my questions is simply, “You may not understand what I am doing now, but someday you will” (John 13:7). God’s timing is always perfect. And in His time, He will reveal His plan to you. He will reveal your purpose. Sometimes we ask, “Why?” “What I’m I doing here?” or even, “Okay, I’m here, what’s next?” And we don’t receive an answer. Then, we feel like we are left alone, lost in confusion.
But you are not alone. The important thing to remember is you do have a purpose, you are here for a reason, even if you cannot see it yet; never stop believing that. You can wonder about it and search for those answers, but know that no matter what, God’s got it, and He’s got you, always. He did not bring you here to leave you alone. Trust His plan for your purpose and seek answers through prayer. Little by little your purpose will be revealed to you. Have faith and be patient. You Belong Here.
God, I may not understand how everything will work out, but I trust you. I don’t see a way, but I know you will make a way. I have faith that at this very moment you are touching hearts, opening doors, and lining up the right breaks and right opportunities. Things may look bleak and questionable now, but I have faith that in searching for you I will find my answers. Wherever you do not understand what’s happening in your life, just close your eyes, breathe and say, “God I know it is your plan, just help me through it.”
