If you’re like me and you have an internet connection, you’ve probably come across one of these articles before: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 (please email me at 'cskohrs@gmail.com' if you would like more.). These articles explain the billion reasons that dating today is totally awful and how “we” should bring back old school dating for it is superior and the way to go.
Now, ignoring the sexist ideals embedded in many of these suggestions, I have one big issue with this movement.
Why do you need to tell me this?
If you want to practice these methods, great! Go ahead! Be free and do what you want! But why on earth is it necessary to tell everybody else that what they’re doing is inherently wrong and they should switch to your arbitrary form of correctness? If you like old dating because it makes you happier, because it makes your partner happier, or because you just enjoy that vintage aesthetic, do it! But there is absolutely no need to make everybody else conform to these ways.
Are you all so self-conscious that you can’t practice your '50s dating rules without having your peers do the same thing? Are you really worried that people are going to judge you for your personal relationship practices?
If these truly are “better” ways to date, then if you go ahead and do it, everyone else will realize how genius you are, and then follow in your footsteps. So you can stop it with the Facebook shares and constant article linking.
Now, I definitely understand the attraction. Old dating has an aesthetic appeal to it. It taps into the collective effervescence of childhood nostalgia, growing up seeing these practices on television shows like Friends, and the actions of our parents. But that doesn’t mean you have to shove that agenda down anybody else’s throat.
Moving to a more personal note, if the ambiguous “we” that most of the articles address, start actually abiding by these rules, anybody who does not go on what I will call “man-woman dates” is left not knowing what to do.
You see, if the man is supposed to drive and pick up the date, with a “man-man date,” they’ll never get anywhere because each man will drive to the other’s place of residence, only to realize that the other isn’t there, and that’s a waste of gas. On a “woman-woman date,” nobody’s driving, and they’ll probably just have to Skype or something. Economical, but not very personal. When it’s cold outside, on a “man-man date,” they’ll just switch coats, and that doesn’t make sense. On a “woman-woman date” the poor women will probably freeze to death.
And that’s without looking at people who don’t conform to the roles of Sandy or Danny.
Basically, do what you want, unless what you want is to tell others what to do. Everyone is different and does different things. Each generation is new and unique and goes on to do amazing things, both good and bad. Maybe someday we’ll learn to love our generation and not hate everything about it like the internet seems to do. But most importantly, be yourself, let others be themselves, and you do you.
