Goals for Remainder of 2018

Goals for Remainder of 2018

How I'm planning to finish my year strong!

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The conclusion of 2018 is rapidly approaching and usually during this time of the year is when I hit a wall creatively, socially, academically, emotionally, you name it. Therefore, I thought it would be beneficial to set goals for what remains of the year in order to motivate myself to press on!

Carry Myself with More Confidence

Once the heat of summer begins to dissipate and the coolness of fall has graced us with its presence, I tend to get a little lazy when it comes to clothing. I gravitate towards the hoodies and sweatpants, especially for those morning classes. While I've found these types of outfits to be comfortable to wear, I've also found that they tend to hinder my confidence both in my appearance and in my academics. Dressing well helps me to carry myself with a little more confidence, not only in how I look but also in how I perform academically. However, I also want to challenge myself to stand tall when I do grab the sweats. My confidence should not depend entirely on my appearance. My confidence should come from the Lord and the fact that He cares for me and loves me.

Read More... for Fun

Reading is pretty routine stuff for a college kid, particularly for an English major. I find myself constantly reading articles, essays, poems, novels, etc. for class, however it has become a rarity to carve out time to read for personal enjoyment. I want to carve out that time for myself and give my mind a much needed break from academic readings and Netflix.

Go on Dates with Myself

This sounds incredibly cheesy, like it came from some self-help book, I know. However, in college and life in general, we are constantly surrounded by people: in classes, at work, in sports, etc. Spending every waking moment with other humans is draining both mentally and emotionally. Therefore, it is so important (especially for all my introverts out there) to take the time to recharge by yourself. To make it a little more fun and motivate myself to actually do this before 2018 concludes, I like to call them dates. Some ideas I have for this include: going for a walk in the park, buying myself a coffee and reading at Art Bar, and cooking a delicious, possibly healthy, meal for myself. I know it sounds like I am actually 85, but dates with yourself could be literally anything!

Cultivate a Cozy Night Routine

Again, yes, I am an 85-year-old woman trapped in a 20-year old's body; however, this one has proven to be so beneficial for me already. I found that my schedule during the day had exhausted me so much so that I would come home and be completely dead. You would think that it would be super easy for me to fall asleep, that was unfortunately not the case. I would lay down in bed and scroll on my phone for hours, which is proven to hinder sleep; and then lay in bed with my mind completely racing with no signs of it shutting off anytime soon. Therefore, I've changed up how my nights look. Instead of coming back and immediately getting on my phone I do one of two things. If it is early enough, I will sit in the living room with my roommates and watch some sort of television show, or I will read a book in bed. Either way, this helps me to start winding down. Before I read, I plug my phone in across the room and set my alarms for the next morning. This way, I am not scrolling on my phone prior to bed and if I fall asleep reading it's no big deal. My quality of sleep has improved so much already and I am moving right along towards my goal of reading more for fun!

Focus on Loving God, then Myself, then Others

Going along with having time to myself, I have found it extremely important to have time with God first thing in the morning. I've found that if I skip this step I am more apt to be grouchy and annoyed with other people as well as myself. I know that if I don't focus on loving God and myself, then I will not be ready to love on His people in the ways He expects. By having a quiet time with the Lord, I am able to equip myself with the truth, learn more about my Creator, and be prepared to love on all those that He has created.

Get Up Earlier

Ugh, even typing that out makes me want to crawl back into bed. Oh, how I love my bed. I'm sure I'm not alone in this, but getting up in the morning is hard! The initial blaring of the alarm and pulling back of the covers is enough to make my skin crawl. I despise it! However, it is, of course, a mandatory step in being a functioning adult. Therefore, I would like to get up even just thirty minutes earlier than usual. Why? Well, I have found that when I am not rushing around because I woke up late I can enjoy my morning and everything that comes with it. Suddenly, my coffee tastes a little better, I don't have to rush through my quiet time with God, and I can look presentable for class. Wow, what a revelation!

Do the Little Things That Make Me Smile

Wow. I should really write Hallmark cards. This is the last goal I promise. Okay so like I said earlier, being a college student/athlete is time-consuming and unbelievably stress-inducing. Therefore, I want to take the time to do things that revive my happiness. Similar to making time to read for fun, things like writing and listening to "old music" tend to make me a lot happier of a person. I highly recommend doing things that you love in order to alleviate stress. It helps I swear


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Goodbye School, Hello Real World

I'm ready for ya!

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It's starting to hit me.

I've been in school, year after year, since kindergarten. Maybe even pre-school!

Now, I'm about to graduate with my bachelors in communication and I couldn't be more proud of myself. I'll say it. I often sugarcoat it or suppress it but d*mn it. I'm going to applaud myself. It was hard work. It took a lot of motivation, determination, (caffeine), and willpower to get to where I am today. I worked my ass off.

That being said, I can't help but think... What is life without due dates? What is life like without scrambling to turn in an assignment that's due at 11:59 PM? What is life like with actual sleep? Sleep? I don't know her.

Like I keep telling my boyfriend and my parents, I don't have it all figured out. At least not right now. But I will, and I'm in no rush to land my dream job right now. If anything, I want to take a year to myself. I want to travel. I want to sleep in if I d*mn well please! I want to read as many books as I want. I want to write till my fingers fall off (OK, maybe not that).

You get the jist.

I'm free. I can do and be whatever I want. And you know what? That's terrifying.

I'm lost. I've followed this structure for so long. Now what?

I don't have all the answers yet. But for now, at least right at this very moment, I'm so thankful to have been able to receive such an amazing education. And to be able to say I'm graduating with my bachelors in communication at 21 is an accomplishment in itself.

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ESA in College

I'm so glad I have her in my life, but sometimes I wonder what it would be to be a normal person.

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You have a cat? What's her name, how old is she, where did you get her from, what's her backstory? Are you supposed to have a cat in your room? Is it messy with a cat? How does she live in a small college dorm room? How do you get an ESA? What's wrong with you? Can I get one too?

Whenever people find out I have an Emotional Support Animal (ESA) all I get is questions. Yes, I have a cat. Her name is Kalani, and she is 1. I went to the shelter asking for a specific cat only to find out he was adopted the day before. I asked them what cat would be a good ESA that could live in a dorm, and they directed me to Kalani. I only had to meet her once to know that she was the one. Kalani loves everyone and is always full of energy. She always knows when something is wrong and is always by your side. Since she's so young, she's super curious and her curiosity/stupidity makes me cry laughing almost everyday. We don't know her backstory and since it seems there's nothing/no one she's afraid of, I'm okay with not knowing.

Yes, I'm supposed to have a cat in my room. I have done the paperwork and it has been approved. You're allowed to have your prescription medicine in your room, it's the same thing. She is for my health. The messy question always trips me up. Food, litter, etc. there is no mess, but if you're talking about toys, yes there's always toys on the floor. She's little, she likes to play, and I have classes so I can't play with her every second of the day. She's perfectly fine in a dorm.

The questions that always hurt the most is people asking "What is wrong with you?" or "I want a cat, how do I get one?". I have mental illnesses, I need her. If I didn't have to have her here I probably wouldn't. Yes, a cat at college is nice, but YOU are responsible for her care. You can't just leave for the weekend without packing her up and taking her too. You have to be aware of where she is everytime you open that door. You have to put up with the endless questions. You have to put up with her standing on what you are working on (laptop, homework, food, etc.) and pushing things off the table. You have to put up with every annoying thing an animal does and give it all the attention in the world, even when you want to be left alone. Don't get me wrong, an animal at college is nice, it's one less thing you have to miss from home, but it's not as fun as it seems.

I need her more than anything. She's better than any medicine I've tried, any friend I've called during a breakdown, and any therapist I've been to. I have depression, anxiety, PTSD, and social anxiety disorder. The collection of those things make life really hard, especially in a new place like college. An ESA makes it bearable, or at least it's bearable having something there to help with every breakdown. The nights when I'm sobbing for no reason, having panic attacks because of my past, overthinking about everything I wish I could change in my life, lonely, or having a bad day; she's there no matter what.

I'm so glad I have her in my life, but sometimes I wonder what it would be to be a normal person. To be able to out and have fun, not have to worry about an animal in my room,not be so scared someone will find out about Kalani and having to try to explain that I'm screwed up so much I have an ESA, and not be scared every roommate will leave me because they can't put up with either my moods or Kalani misbehaving.

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