"I could never do that."
"I don't think about going anywhere by myself."
"If I don't have anyone to go with, I'd rather stay at home."
And, my personal favorite:
"That's kind of badass."
These are all reactions I get when I tell people I go to shows and concerts alone. Whether it's going up the block to a student show or flying across the country for 24 hours for a music festival, I've never had a problem going places on my own. I'm not a very outwardly social person, so I have trouble meeting people I could foresee doing these things with.
I guess I've never liked small talk. In high school and even earlier, I used to dread going to family dinners where we'd all talk about how our weeks went and the news of the day. But I love deep conversation. I could sit with a stranger at a concert or rally for hours and talk, just because our bond is already prewritten: we both like the thing we're there for. We have a reason to converse, and beyond our names, it gives us a chance to skip the formalities. Sometimes I never talk to them again, and sometimes I make friendships that last years, but I'm always impacted by the people I meet. I like that.
Even when I don't talk to people at events I'm at alone, I still get the chance to enjoy something I care about. I can watch a performer or listen to a speech that makes my mind whirl without anyone beside me. After all, I don't need company to think.
Yes, safety is important. I watch my surroundings, and I make sure I'm at least cordial with the people I'm near, so that if anything were to happen, someone around me would have my back. But I think the fear of going somewhere alone roots less in the fear of getting hurt and more in the fear of being perceived a certain way.
But nobody's looking at you when they're screaming along the lyrics to their favorite song. No one is thinking about you when they're watching a group of actors perform a scene. People don't go to events in groups to make fun of the people that go there alone -- they go because they have a common bond over something they care about, and they want to share it with each other.
And there's nothing wrong with having people to share the things you're passionate about with. But what if no one else likes your favorite band, or no one's free to see that improv show you've been dying to check out this Friday?
I urge you to go it alone. It will be amazing just the same.
