The main inspiration for this article comes from another Odyssey writer, Madison Trout. She wrote, The Coach That Killed My Passion.

I think playing a sport is amazing, there are a few aspects that everyone should be able to feel. There's that moment when you do something amazing (like an amazing pancake) and that sensation of warmth fills you up and you smile, you look around and your teammates are freaking out, the crowd is on their feet, that's something I definitely miss when I used to play volleyball.

Now it's very true when they say you have good coaches and bad coaches. This huge joy that brought light into my life, that brought my family from different parts of the world to come watch me play, changed the moment my coach told me,

"You aren't good enough because you aren't old enough." Bullshark.

I was always ahead growing up meaning I started school earlier than most other kids, I was always a year younger than my peers. My coach at the time didn't know that but once my coach did he started to bench me because he felt I wasn't developed enough and that has torn my confidence ever since. It didn't help that a few years later I had another horrible coach, our team was dysfunctional, there was constant drama and bad comments being said. My coach at the time barely resolved the problems, there hasn't been a moment where I actually felt like a team, people I could trust was very rare on that team. My coach's tactic on teaching me was forceful and absolutely obliterated the passion for me.

Here is the best way I can describe what happened that day and how it changed me indefinitely.

So let's say your passion is like a little girl, obviously you would never want that little girl to be judged or get hurt but once she does it absolutely rocks your world. You want to shelter her from the rest of the world by doing that she won't ever reach her potential. You don't let her grow or venture out. You don't put her out there anymore even though you know she is absolutely amazing, you're afraid.

Weird analogy?

Probably.

But with this being said it has limited me as a person and living my life to the fullest. I usually say don't let anyone's comments affect you but really, it's hard to swallow criticism. That's something I need to work hard on, accepting criticism and just continue doing what I love.

So coaches, although you tore down my confidence and created doubt in my ability in my favorite sport of all time I hope that one day you realize your faults and become better coaches. Remember that yes, we may be young but don't doubt us, we are stronger than you think. Gossip and hatred isn't anyway to build up a team. I could've been so much more but now I'm starting from the beginning again. Hopefully one day I'll let her grow up and reach her potential despite the past.

Thank you for the lessons.